


The Moments Until We're Whole

by Bethalous



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Amanda Grayson Rocks, Christopher Pike Rocks, Criminal Affiliations, Dates, Developing Relationship, Early Days, Falling In Love, First Meetings, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Slice of Life, Spock (Star Trek) Has Feelings, Thief Bones, Young Bones, Young Jim, Young Spock, because it's split into moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2018-08-16 01:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 23,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8081935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bethalous/pseuds/Bethalous
Summary: Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy met when they were just children and it changed both their lives forever.Spock grew up all alone on Vulcan so coming to Star Fleet Academy on Earth and meeting two charming young men who actually want to be his friend was quite a surprise.





	1. Jim - Age 6

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything except the plot and my own characters.

Jim huffed, staring out the window and purposefully ignoring the chatter of his mom. It didn’t matter what she said, he didn’t want to move and he wasn’t going to accept it. He may not have loved living in Riverside but it was home. Nowhere, Georgia was not. He was really annoyed at his mom for not consulting him before they moved, instead just packing up their belongings and strapping him in the car without listening to his protests. He hated being 6. No one listened to anything he said. He also hated Georgia.

“Oh, Jimmy, you really need to stop pouting. You’ll end up losing your good looks.”

Jim didn’t bother responding but he did pull his face into a less stressed shape – he didn’t want to stop looking like his dad.

Outside the window, fields went past but they weren’t the same as the ones in Iowa. Everything here seemed so much greener.

“Doesn’t it all look so inviting, Jimmy? I was right; we’re going to be really happy here.”

Jim just continued to sulk. He’d had to leave all of his friends behind in Riverside and wasn’t looking forward to having to try and make new ones. He usually liked meeting new people and charming them into being friends with him but this was different. He would be the new kid in the middle of the school year, knowing absolutely no one. He’d spend the rest of his life alone!

Huffing again, he supposed he was being a bit silly. He **was** good at making people like him. If he tried he could easily make some friends. That wasn’t the point though. He shouldn’t have to make new friends; he’d been perfectly happy with his old ones. But his mom had decided that they needed a new start and that Georgia was the place for it.

“Look Jimmy! That’s our house up ahead.”

Jim looked up and lost all thoughts of being grumpy. The house was big, far bigger than their old one, and had a porch and there were trees leading down the side of the house, and he could see a perfectly circular window right at the top of the house that must be the attic.

“Okay,” he said, finally turning to his mom. “I guess this’ll do.”

“No problem, Jimmy. Let’s go check it out.”

Jim waited for his mom to let him out and then ran straight for the porch. There was space for him to run up and down, even when his mom joined him to open the dark red door. Inside the air was cool but inviting and Jim ran in, rushing from room to room. He stopped just outside one of the bedrooms, staring in. It had a large window which overlooked the backyard and the orchard beyond it. The room was bright and had plenty of wall space for all of his space posters.

“I take it you want this room then?”

Jim turned to see his mom now standing behind him, also looking around the room.

“The orchard belongs to the house behind it. They’re our closest neighbours so we’ll go and say hello tomorrow. I’ll have all your stuff moved in here, yeah?”

“Yes, please. Thanks mom. I’m gonna go see the backyard.”

“Alright. You’re going to be okay here, then?”

“Mom, I’m still not happy about having been forced to move but I’ll get used to it.”

“Get out of here then.”

Jim took her words to heart and darted from the house, straight for the backyard. There was a fence that separated their garden from the orchard but there was a gate built into it. Jim tried the handle and was pleasantly surprised to find it turn under his hand. He looked back at the house. His mom would be busy for hours moving everything inside so he had plenty of time to explore. Grinning, he opened the gate and ran through, letting it swing shut behind him.

He weaved in and out of the trees, laughing as he tried to race around every one. He made sure he didn’t run to far from the fence but curiosity got the better of him when he heard rustling coming from a little further in. He walked carefully, trying to be silent as he searched for the source of the noise. He was just starting to think he had imagined it when he heard a yell followed by a crash. He started running again, heading towards where he could hear whimpers.

He came around one of the trees to find a boy, a few years older than himself, sitting on the floor and holding his arm close to his chest as tears ran down his chest and he tried to hold in his cries of pain. Jim ran right over and dropped to the floor beside him.

“Are you okay? Can I help?”

“Who’re you kid?” The boy’s accent drawled thickly with pain but Jim still thought it sounded pretty.

“My name’s Jim. And I’m not a kid. What hurts?”

“My arm. I think I mighta broke it.”

“Do you need me to kiss it better?” Jim asked sincerely but the older boy just stared at him like he was crazy.

“Are you an idiot? You can’t kiss bones better.”

“I bet I can kiss bones better,” Jim replied defiantly, and swiftly dropped a kiss on the boy’s arm. The boy looked from him to his arm and back again while Jim beamed.

“See, you stopped crying. I told you I can kiss bones better.”

“Guess you can,” the boy said weakly. “My name’s Leonard. Can you help me up? My daddy’s the doctor so he’ll fix this up.”

“Okay, but I helped fixed you,” Jim said stubbornly as he reached out to pull Leonard up.

“Sure thing, Jim,” Leonard agreed, an actual smile making its way onto his face. Jim grinned back and wrapped an arm around his waist causing Leonard to raise an eyebrow at him.

“I’m helping you to your dad. They do this in movies; heroes put their arms around the girls they rescue.”

“I’m not a girl,” Leonard snorted indignantly.

“No, you’re not. But I am rescuing you.”

Leonard just looked at him strangely then accepted his behaviour, leaning against Jim as they walked down a path through the orchard. Jim could see a house up ahead that looked slightly bigger than his own new one.

“I’m glad we’re neighbours, Bones,” Jim said happily. “I was sad because I didn’t think I’d have any friends.”

“Why’re you calling me Bones? And who said we’re going to be friends?”

Jim looked at him like it was obvious before he answered in the most honest voice possible.

“I kissed your bones better. So your nickname should be Bones. And of course we’re going to be friends. We live right next to each other. And I saved your life. Heroes make friends with the people they save.”

Leonard didn’t seem to have an answer to his logic, or perhaps his arm was really hurting despite Jim’s kiss. So Jim gave the arm another kiss and when Bones gave him a look he just smiled and continued to lead him towards the house. They were so going to be best friends forever. How could they not be?


	2. Leonard - Age 9

Leonard sat under his favourite apple tree reading one of his daddy’s old medical texts. He would have been seated in the tree but the stern warning from his daddy regarding weakened bones had convinced him it would be best to let his arm rest a little longer before he attempted the climb again. He was actually quite comfortable resting his back against the trunk and was getting to the section on the book on neurosurgery when he heard someone shouting.

“Bones! Hey Bones! Bones!”

He sighed and turned to see Jim Kirk flying towards him, the biggest grin on his face. After helping him get home, Leonard hadn't actually expected to see the kid again, except in passing. The complete opposite had ended up being the case. Jim had taken to invading Leonard’s space as often as he possibly could, joining him in the orchard or even just running up to Leonard’s house and asking for him to come out and play.

Leonard wasn’t quite sure why he allowed it. He was older and could easily push the little kid away but, for some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Maybe it was because the scamp always looked so damn pleased to see him (which none of his other friends ever did because they knew Leonard’s default personality was grumpy) or it might have been that Jim wasn’t actually bad company, even though he tended to ramble on whether you were listening to him or not. Hell, Leonard **responded** when Jim called him that ridiculous nickname. In his defence, he had tried to fight it, but every time he did, Jim had countered with a swift kiss to the closest bone he could reach. It usually ended up being Leonard’s hands that got kissed (and he hated that because it made him feel like some southern belle and he hated it even more because he quite liked the feeling.) but occasionally, if Leonard happened to be sitting down, Jim would give him a peck on the cheek. It was utterly stupid and irritating that such actions got to Leonard but they did and now he knew that he’d never be rid of Jim’s company.

“Bones? Hey, are you listening to me or did you get lost again?”

“Huh?” Leonard asked intelligently, turning to see Jim now sitting pressed up against his side.

“I was telling you about how I don’t want to start school because I’ll be the new kid and it’s the middle of the year and I won’t know anyone but you but ‘cause you’re old I won’t see you and I don’t want to go. But you weren’t saying anything so I asked if you were listening or if you’d gotten lost in that big head of yours again.”

“You really need to stop rambling.”

Jim stuck his tongue out him, his eyes screwed up tight, and Leonard let himself snort.

“Firstly, it’s not the middle of the year; you’ve only missed half a term. Second, you’ll be fine once you get there and you’ll make plenty of friends. You convinced me to be your friend, didn’t ya? And finally, my head isn’t big. You take that back infant.”

“Of course you head is big, Bones, otherwise how would you keep all your brains in it?”

Leonard couldn’t fight that logic. But only because Jim had complimented him and because he already had too much experience trying to fight Jim’s sense of logic. He didn’t bother trying anymore. He doubted even a Vulcan could get Jim to change his mind about something.

“Bones!”

“What?”

“You were ignoring me again.”

“You’re an attention seeker, you get that right?”

“I seek your attention.”

“…damn, I don’t have a comeback for that.”

“You shouldn’t say ‘damn’,” Jim said, his face scrunching up into a scowl. It was stupidly adorable and Leonard hated that thought for daring to enter his head.

“ **You’re** not supposed to say it; I'm older so it’s fine.”

“Only by 3 years,” Jim whined, taking the book from Leonard’s slack grip. Before Leonard could demand it back, Jim had climbed onto his lap and lifted the book back up. Leonard raised an eyebrow at the younger boy, who he knew purposely ignored it.

“You comfortable there?”

“Very. Read it too me?”

“Infant,” Leonard muttered, but began to read the chapter on neurosurgery aloud.

 

*********

 

“And he just keeps turning up. It’s like he has some kind of tracker on me or something so he always knows where I am; if I'm in the orchard then so is he, if I'm in the house, he comes a knockin’. He’s stalking me, I swear. Yeah, he may be 6 but he’s definitely following me and he knows I know. When I asked him how he always knew where I was he just gave me that damned demon grin of his. Seriously, that grin is evil. I can’t get rid of it and I can’t get rid of him. He’s officially stuck himself to me and refuses to ever leave me alone. He even followed me to the bathroom! It’s weird. You have to help.”

“No way, this is great,” Noah said, trying not to laugh. Leonard scowled at him.

“Some big brother you are.”

“I’m not technically your brother,” Noah said, still grinning madly.

“And your dad’s not **technically** an archivist,” Leonard threw back, scowl only slightly lessened. Noah softened and tugged Leonard into his arms for a hug. The boy struggled briefly for the sake of it, then let himself collapse in the young man’s hold. He huffed and slowly wrapped his arms around Noah’s middle in return.

“Why is this bothering you so much? Really?” Noah asked, looking gently down at the boy. Leonard hid his face in the chest before him but somehow managed to mutter out a coherent answer.

“He’s convinced that we’ll be friends forever and I already know everything about him. It seems too soon.”

“Sometimes we meet people with who we just…click. And there will be no pushing them away, both because they are completely stubborn, and because we know, somehow, that we need them. I think you need this Jim.”

“But he’s only 6!” Leonard argued, lifting his head to stare in surprise but the older boy just smiled softly at him.

“He won’t always be 6. It’s only 3 years, Leo. Is it weird for us to be friends when I’m so much older?”

“Of course not! You’re practically my brother!”

“But it’s weird with Jim?”

“I…I guess not,” Leonard deduced.

“You could use a friend to pull you out of all your grumpiness.”

“Hey! My grumpiness is a big part of me.”

“Indeed,” Noah teased. “Either way, you and Jim seem like you’re going to be best friends, whether you like it or not. So it’d be best if you just accept your fate and embrace it. He’s clearly not going anywhere.”

“Fine,” Leonard sighed. “But just so we’re clear for later on; I tried to pull away but **you** insisted that I be his friend.”

“Deal. The blame is all mine,” Noah agreed.

“Good. Now what are you cooking me for dinner? I’m starving.”


	3. Leonard - Age 9

Leonard hated Thursdays. Most people loathed Monday or Wednesday, but not Leonard; he despised Thursdays. The way he saw it, at least with Monday and Wednesday you knew that it was going to be bad but Thursdays pretended they were nice by sitting next to Friday. They teased you with the prospect of the weekend but really you had to go through another whole day before you got there. It also didn’t help that he started Thursday with P.E., which meant that most of his class turned into idiots for the rest of the day. By the time school was over he just wanted it to be the weekend, only to realise he had to come back the next day as well.

All of this meant that when the bell rang to signal the end of the day, Leonard wasn’t in a good mood. He was checking his bag to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything when he heard a familiar voice yelling at him.

“Bones! Hey, Bones!”

Leonard looked up to see Jim running towards him, grinning widely and clothes in complete disarray. The kid skidded to halt beside him and immediately began rambling on and on about his day. Leonard tried to concentrate on what he was saying but the sound of sniggering caught his attention.

Leonard looked away from Jim to see several of his classmates standing nearby, gesturing at Jim and laughing. He scowled at them then realised that he couldn’t hear Jim’s voice anymore. He looked down at his companion to see that Jim was now looking at the floor, biting his lip and with a red flush to his cheeks.

“Why’d you stop?” Leonard asked. “I wanted to hear about what happened after your classmate ate the crayon.”

“I don’t want to bother you.” Jim’s voice was so quiet that Leonard had to strain to hear it and when he did it made him scowl even more.

“What makes you think you’re being a bother? I’ve never said that. In fact, if I thought you were a bother I would have said something ages ago – you’re always rambling.”

“At school’s different though,” Jim said, still barely audible. The kids from Leonard’s class were still laughing, though now they were also unsubtly pointing, as they walked past. One of them decided to call out to Leonard which didn’t improve his mood one bit.

“Why are you hanging out with a baby, Leo?”

“My name’s Leonard, and this is Jim. He’s not a baby; in fact he’s my best friend.”

Jim looked up at him in awe, clearly surprised that the words had come out of Leonard’s mouth. The others stared and the one who had spoken felt the need to stutter out “W...What?”

“You heard me,” Leonard said aggressively, “Jim is my best friend. He’s way better company than any of you.”

The other kids looked like they were really going to start making a fuss now but luckily they were interrupted by a teacher coming over and ushering them all out of the school. At the gate Jim’s mom waited and Leonard followed Jim over to her.

“Hey Jimmy, good day? Hello Leonard.”

“Hello ma’am.”

“Yeah, it was good. Benji ate a crayon and then Lizzie hit him and made him choke. Bones admitted he was best friend and I drew a picture of our new house. Look!”

While Jim was digging around in his backpack to find the picture, Winona smiled warmly at Leonard.

“Thank you for being a good friend to him. I was worried that he’d be so upset about moving here that he wouldn’t try to make friends.”

“It’s fine, ma’am,” Leonard said, blushing at the praise. “Jim’s cool and I couldn’t leave even I wanted to; he has a tight grip.”

“That he does,” Winona laughed, then cooed as Jim showed her his drawing.

“Is it okay if Jim comes to mine for dinner?” Leonard blurted at the look of complete happiness on Jim’s face as he talked about the colours he had used. Jim looked up at him adoringly then started jumping up and down.

“Yes, yes, yes! Can I, mom? Please?”

“I don’t see why not,” Winona said, grinning when Jim grabbed Leonard’s hands and began spinning the pair of them around. “As long as Eleanora says it’s okay.”

“Oh mama will. She loves having Jim round.”

Jim dragged Leonard the whole way home, talking a mile-a-minute about everything they were going to do when they got to Leonard’s.

 

*********

 

“I’m glad you’ve made a good friend in Jim.”

“What?” Leonard asked as he closed the book he had been reading. His mama walked into his room and took the book, placing it gently on the bedside table.

“You just seem so much happier. I worried that because you kept to yourself so much that you wouldn’t make any true friends. So I’m glad that Jim has managed to worm his way under your skin,” Eleanora explained as she expertly tucked him in, making sure there were no wrinkles in the blanket.

Leonard thought over what she’d said and guessed that she had a point. He had felt happier since Jim came into his life. It was like having a very energetic sun either following him around or leading him about. The thought should have made him grumpy but it actually did the opposite. He’d never been happier.

“I like Jim,” he said slowly, and his mother sat down on the edge of the bed to listen to him talk.

“I don’t know what it is about him, but just being around him makes me feel better. Everyone else, like the kids in my class, act so stupid sometimes, and Jim does as well, don’t get me wrong. He can be a right infant. But he’s only 6 and yet he still tries harder than them. Or maybe he’s just better than them. I don’t know. I just know that I like him and at first I wasn’t sure about him just barging into my life and announcing himself as my best friend but now I don’t care. In fact, I'm glad he did. He is best friend. I like having a best friend.”

“I’m so happy for you, sweetheart,” his mama said with one of her soft yet knowing smiles. “Why don’t you introduce him to Noah this weekend? I’m sure he’d love to meet your best friend.”

“Okay,” Leonard said with a yawn, his eyes falling shut.

“Sleep well, my lion-heart,” Eleanora whispered as she switched off the light, Leonard barely hearing her as he drifted off into dreamland.


	4. Jim - Age 6

“So who’s looking after us tonight?” Jim asked from his seat at the McCoy’s kitchen counter. Eleanora had instructed him to decorate the cookies she and Leonard had made while they washed up, so he was drawing multi-coloured swirls with the icing pens. He’d left some of the cookies for Bones to decorate though because it was only fair as he had been the one to actually help bake them.

“Noah is one of daddy’s clients’ kids. He’s kinda old but he’s basically my big brother,” Leonard said, and Jim could tell by his voice and the massive smile on his face that he really loved this ‘Noah’.

Jim frowned and turned back to decorating, purposefully not listening as Bones kept talking about Noah. He felt funny. Like he was upset but he didn’t want to cry. He just knew that the more Bones talked, the worse the feeling got. He didn’t understand. And he didn’t understand why Bones was being so happy about some grown-up kid. He didn’t get this happy when talking with Jim. What was so great about this Noah?

“Jim?”

“What?” Jim looked up, and saw Bones frowning at him.

“I’ve been talking to you and you’ve just been spacing.”

“Oh. I just…I don’t care that much about your best friend Noah.” Jim didn’t understand why Leonard started grinning at his words. He was even more confused when Bones moved around the counter and pulled Jim into a hug. Jim hugged back automatically; he’d never give up a chance to be close to Bones.

“Noah isn’t my best friend, you infant,” Leonard said, grinning down at Jim. “He’s my brother. Not by blood, obviously, but that’s his role in my life. **You** are my best friend. So stop being jealous.”

“I'm not jellyous,” Jim said indignantly.

“Jel-ous. Not jellyous.” Leonard snorted.

“Well I’m not that either,” Jim added with a frown. Leonard just snorted again and pulled him into another hug. Jim still went willingly.

“Right, now pass me the icing pens,” Leonard said, ending the hugs. “It’s time for me to show you how to really decorate a cookie.”

Jim eagerly sat back to watch Bones work. One of the first things that Jim had noticed about his best friend was his ridiculously talented hands. Leonard seemed to be able to do anything with them, at least that’s what Jim believed, and they were constantly moving. If Bones’ fingers weren’t fiddling then something was probably wrong because, right after scowling, fiddling was Leonard’s next most common action.

“Why are your hands so talented?” Jim asked as he watched Leonard begin carefully applying the icing.

“They’re not that talented,” Bones argued, just like he always did.

“Yeah, they are,” Jim argued back. “Is it because you want to be a doctor? Is that why you practise with them constantly?”

“Maybe? I don’t know, okay kid. I just know that if I don’t keep my fingers moving I don’t feel right. So I learn things that’ll keep them busy.”

Jim could see that Bones didn’t really want to talk about it so he decided to change the subject.

“So why is Noah like a brother to you?”

“Because he’s always been here.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Daddy does a lot of work for Mr Aldridge, so Noah ended up being around a lot. Easy babysitter basically. Anyway, it meant that I grew up with him. Whatever he learnt, he’d try and teach me. He’d look out for me, I could tell him anything, and he was always there. So, now he’s my brother and I love him like one.”

“I’ve never had a brother,” Jim mused. “It sounds nice.”

“Well I’m sure he’ll be yours too, if you want,” Leonard suggested.

“Really?” Jim thought about it. “Would that make us brothers too? Then we wouldn’t be best friends. I don’t want us to not be best friends.”

“He’s not really our brother. He’s just a stand-in. He can be a stand in for both of us and we can be best friends. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jim agreed happily, now looking forward to meeting this wonderful person who could make Bones so happy.

 

*********

 

“Okay, guess where it is now.”

“It’s still in your hand.”

“Is it?” Noah asked, opening up his right hand to reveal…just an empty palm. Jim gaped in shock.

“How? I don’t understand. How do you make it disappear every time?”

“It’s called sleight of hand,” Noah explained, pulling the small blue ball from his back pocket, which caused Jim to gasp in shock. Leonard laughed from his place beside Jim on the couch. Jim looked at Bones then back to Noah.

“But I don’t understand!”

“It’s a trick,” Noah said, tossing the ball from hand to hand. “It takes quick reflexes and a simple distraction. You expect the ball to end up in a certain place, so I distract your attention, and BAM, it’s gone.”

“Noah’s teaching me to do it too,” Leonard said excitedly.

“Really? Show me,” Jim begged. Leonard jumped up from the couch and Jim watched him run into the kitchen.

“Where’s he going?”

“He just needs some extra props,” Noah said. Jim nodded and turned to watch the kitchen door, waiting for Bones to come back.

“You’re really attached to him.”

“Huh?” Jim turned back to Noah to see the older boy staring at him softly.

“Leo – you really care about him.”

“Of course I do,” Jim said vehemently. “He’s my best friend!”

Noah smiled, but it was a smile Jim had seen on his mom when she knew something he didn’t. Before he could ask Noah what had him smiling like that though, Leonard came back into the room carrying three plastic cups.

“What are they for?” Jim asked eagerly.

“The trick I’m going to show you,” Leonard said as he place the cups upside down on the table in front of the couch.

“Keep an eye on the ball,” Leonard instructed, and dropped in under the middle cup. Jim watched wide eyed as Bones moved the cups round and round, switching places over and over. When Bones stopped moving the cups, he sat back and indicated for Jim to choose one. Jim picked the left most one without hesitating. With a grin, Leonard lifted the cup and Jim gasped. Where had the ball gone? He looked up at Bones with a frown.

“Where’d it go?”

“It’s right here,” Bones said with a grin, and pulled the ball from his pocket. Jim looked from the ball to the cups and back again before rounding on Noah.

“You made his hands talented!”

Noah laughed while Leonard just shook his head. He couldn’t fool Jim though; he had finally found the source of Bones’ magical hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we finally see how young Spock's doing.
> 
> P.S. I don't want to sound greedy or needy or anything but if people are enjoying this, could you please comment. I'm not asking for paragraphs, just a simple 'Nice' would be cool. But I'd just like to know that you are enjoying this.  
> I'm going to keep writing this no matter what because it's what I want to write but just...you know, it'd be nice.  
> Have a great day.


	5. Spock - Age 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The section of dialogue with the bullies is taken directly from the film so I don't own it.

Spock tried to ignore the murmurs around him as he sat by himself in the lunchroom. Though he had always sat alone, forced to hear his classmates share their views on his heritage, it had not gotten any easier. His father had warned him before he started school that he may experience difficulties with his fellows but Spock had never admitted aloud that his father had been right. He knew that if he was to gain any standing he would have to work to prove himself. He immersed himself in his studies and meditating to quieten all those unnecessary emotions.

But no matter what he did, Spock could not seem to completely quiet the anger that appeared whenever one of his fellows made a derogatory comment about his heritage. It felt like the anger was running through his veins, side by side with his blood. He wished he could ask his mother if that was natural amongst humans, but found he could not bring himself to admit such a weakness even to her.

Getting up, he cleaned his tray away and made his way back to the learning room and his pit. He started the programme back up and pushed his mind to focus. He had little difficulty at this level, despite the comments that his half-human brain may force him to learn at a slower speed. When he had heard even his teachers make such suggestions he had been determined to prove that it was not the case. He pushed his mind even further and now was at the top of the class.

Only instead of earning him respect, his high intelligence had turned his classmates even more against him. They were smart about their bullying, keeping their statements tempered and phrased like logical questions, but Spock knew what they were doing. He hated to admit, even in the depths of his mind, that it hurt.

Spock sharply pulled his mind back to his work. It was not wise to keep drifting off during his learning; he did not wish to make any stupid mistakes and give his tormentors more ammunition.

He focused solely on his work until it was time to end for the day. He was walking away from his pit when he heard the voice behind him call his name. He turned to see his main trio of tormentors.

“I presume you've prepared new insults for today.”

 **“** Affirmative.”

“This is your thirty-fifth attempt to elicit an emotional response from me.”

“You're neither human nor Vulcan, and therefore have no place in this universe.”

“Look. He has human eyes. They look sad, don't they?” Spock refused to look away at this, knowing that it would be seen as an admission. Besides, they were wrong. It was not sadness currently pulsing through him.

“Perhaps an emotional response requires physical stimuli.”

The shove sent Spock back a few steps but he still refused to take the bait. He knew that he could not take all three of them if they decided to fight, but he did not believe they would attempt such an action. Fighting with him would be considered highly irrational.

“He's a traitor, you know, your father, for marrying her, that human whore.”

But sometimes it was just so much easier to be irrational. Spock threw himself forward with a roar, knocking the other Vulcan into the closest learning pit. He took a few hits before Spock managed to manoeuvre himself into a position of power. He tripped up his opponent and threw himself atop of him.

He did not realise that he was still hitting him until one of the teachers lifted him off. He tried to take deep breaths, pushing at the anger still growling inside him. As he watched the blood run down the other’s face, he calmed enough to understand just how much trouble he was in.

 

*********

 

“You should not have hit him.”

“I know, father.”

“Then why did you do it.”

“He angered me, father.”

“That is not an excuse. As a Vulcan, you must be above such base instincts. I expect you to increase your meditation to wipe away such urges.”

“Yes father.”

Spock kept his head bowed, not looking up even after he heard the door close, signalling the absence of his father. He could not believe he had allowed himself to act in such a manner. It was not like it was the first time he had heard such accusations. But this time, he just had not been able to lock them up with all the other insults he kept hidden in his mind.

“Spock, darling, look at me.”

Spock finally lifted his gaze. His mother was still sitting on the couch before him, her eyes so soft and full of understanding that he wanted to look away again.

“I am sorry, mother.”

“Oh, Spock, there’s no need to be.” Spock slanted an eyebrow at her.

“I deliberately hurt one of my classmates. I allowed anger to control me. That is not the Vulcan way.”

“No, it is not,” his mother conceded, but smiled all the same. “You are a child of two worlds, my darling. No matter where you go, I expect you will experience prejudices. That does not mean that there is anything wrong with you though.”

“But it is illogical to allow emotions to control one’s self.”

“Perhaps. Tell me, do you believe there is something wrong with me because I admit my love for you and your father.”

“Of course not,” Spock answered quickly. He was forever grateful for the love his mother gave him.

“But love is an emotion. And it is one I allow free rein to.”

Spock thought about this. Yes, he supposed his mother did allow certain emotions to control her actions. It was because she loved him that she held him close and stroked his hair. But he had never once considered her less for it.

“You are human though,” he tried to rationalise. “It is expected of you to be emotional.” His mother laughed, and Spock felt lighter hearing it – it was one of his favourite sounds.

“Spock,” she said softly, “emotions are not a weakness. I often think humans have it easier, though I know Vulcans would disagree. We are brought up with emotions in all aspects of our lives, and because of this, we learn early to control them without having to entirely supress them. You have been taught from the beginning that Vulcan’s should not feel emotions, and so you are not truly taught how to control them, only to squash them. Emotions do not like to be squashed though.”

“So what should I do?”

“Be yourself, my darling. Let your emotions out, or don’t. It is entirely your choice. Just know that whatever course you choose, your father and I will always love you.”

“Thank you mother,” Spock said, voice shaking as he felt a single tear run down his cheek. His mother simply wiped it away and kissed his forehead. He should never have been afraid to speak to her about this. She always had all the answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are wonderful, you know. I'm sorry I made you all speak to me but hearing from you always makes me so happy.


	6. Jim - Age 8

Summer was a wonderful time. It meant that he could spend every hour of every day with Bones. He didn’t do this but only because both his mom and Bones had complained about his obsessive need to have Leonard around him. He wanted to though.

Jim wasn’t looking forward to the end of summer. Next year, Bones would no longer be in Elementary school with him; he’d be moving on to Middle school. And this meant less time with Jim. Which Jim wasn’t happy about. He had made several friends in his own grade, but he liked knowing that Leonard was just a few hallways away, that he could sit with him at lunch, and that at the end of the day they could walk home side by side (with Winona occasionally trailing them.) To suddenly have his best friend ripped away from him hurt. And yet Bones didn’t seem fazed by it, which only hurt more. Jim didn’t want to be a baby and make a big fuss about it, but sitting by the lake watching as kid after kid said ‘hi’ to Bones was causing him to really worry that Bones was going to forget all about him.

“Why aren’t you bothered?”

“What?” Leonard asked, turning from his book to look at Jim. Jim couldn’t look back at him, knowing that he was sounding needy again, but he couldn’t help it. He needed to know.

“Jim? What’s wrong? Why aren’t I bothered about what?”

“Why aren’t you bothered that we only have the summer left together.”

“Only the summer…Jim, look at me.”

He didn’t want to, but Jim knew that tone. Bones expected him to obey and he’d found it hard to actually disobey that. So he looked up. And Leonard was looking at him so softly that he wanted to look away again.

“You’re upset that I’m not upset about going to different schools next year, aren’t you?”

Jim had no intention of saying that aloud so he simply nodded his answer. Leonard somehow manged to look at him even more carefully. Jim had always been impressed by how expressive Bones was but it still shocked him every time that Bones could be so gentle.

“Jim, just because we’re at different schools next year, it doesn’t mean that we’ll suddenly stop being best friends. I’m not upset because we’ll still see each other. Hell, I expect that you’ll be round every day to tell me what you’ve been up to. Nothing is going to change, not really.”

“Do you promise?” Jim asked, still not convinced that everything would be as perfect as Bones was painting it.

“I promise. Now will you please stop worrying?”

“I suppose,” Jim said, voice revealing how he actually felt. Leonard let out a sigh then wrapped his arm around Jim’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug. Jim went willingly, always happy when Bones was the one to initiate contact.

“How about this? I promise that every Friday, we’ll have a sleepover.”

“Really?” Jim shouted.

“Really.” Leonard grinned as Jim threw himself further into the hug, squeezing the older boy tightly around the middle.

“Thank you thank you thank you!” cried Jim, all worries forgotten in wake of Bones’ promise. Spending every Friday night with Bones would be wonderful. He let go of Leonard and quickly began planning what they could do and eat every week. Leonard laughed at his actions and returned to his book.

Jim was so caught up in plans that it took him several minutes to realise that they were no longer alone. He looked up to see a girl from Leonard’s class had joined them and was taking all of his attention. Jim crossed his arms tightly over his chest and glared at the girl. Just because he had accepted Bones’ promise did not mean that he was willing to give up any of his best friend’s time this summer.

“So are you coming, Len?”

“Who’s Len?” Jim asked, confused. He had thought this girl was talking to Bones.

“Leonard,” the girl answered with a roll of her eyes, sharp voice suggesting that Jim was an idiot.

“Why would you call him that? He doesn’t like it when people shorten his name,” Jim replied, matching her tone. Her face tightened as Leonard laughed at his words.

“Jim’s right. It’s Leonard.”

“Whatever,” she said uncaringly. “Come along.”

“Where are you trying to take him?” Jim asked, determined to keep Leonard with him.

“Away from you. He needs to hang out with his actual friends, not little kids.”

Before Jim could respond to that, Leonard had slammed his book shut.

“Look Jocelyn, I wasn’t interested in moving before but I’m certainly not now. We’re not friends. Jim is my friend. Yeah, he may be a little kid – (“HEY!”) – but he’s much better company than you. Please leave now.” Leonard’s voice was final, making it clear that she was to clear off. The girl huffed and flounced away.

“I’m glad you know you’re mine,” Jim said happily. Leonard, who had been glaring after Jocelyn, let out a confused “What?” as he found himself with a lap full Jim Kirk.

“You’re mine,” Jim repeated. “My Bones.”

“Your Bones, huh? You seem mightily confident about that, kid,” Leonard said with a bemused grin.

“Of course I am. I saved your life, remember.”

“I think you’re remembering that occasion a little wrong,” Leonard laughed.

“Nope,” Jim said sincerely. “I kissed your bones better, and because you’re my Bones, that means I kissed my Bones better. So yes, I did save your life. And according to Noah, I saved it from loneliness as well.”

“Noah doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Leonard grumbled which only made Jim laugh.

“Admit it,” the blond said “you’re my Bones.”

“I’m your Bones,” Bones dutifully repeated.

“Good,” Jim said, and pressed a swift kiss to the older boy’s mouth before settling himself more comfortably on his lap. “Now read to me.”

When Leonard didn’t automatically obey, Jim looked up to see that Bones was staring down at him in shock.

“What?” Jim asked, confused at his friend’s non-action.

“You just kissed me,” Leonard said slowly. “Do you even know what that means?”

“Of course I do,” Jim said brazenly. “My mom told me. You kiss the person who belongs to you. You’re mine so you belong to me so I kissed you. Duh.”

Leonard was still looking at him weirdly and so Jim turned away and shook the book.

“Read to me.”

“Bossy,” Bones muttered habitually and opened the book to the last page he was on. Jim wriggled back into his chest with a smug smile and let Leonard’s Georgian drawl take over.

Summer really was a wonderful time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to put in the last chapter that in this story, Spock is a year older than Jim. I know that Spock actually is 3 years older than Jim but I wanted him to still be younger than Leonard as well. So Spock is a year older than Jim and 2 years younger than Leonard.


	7. Leonard - Age 12

Every Friday before Jim came round or Leonard went to his, Leonard always took the time to take everything out of his school bag and place it in the correct space in his room, ready for use over the weekend. Jim said it was weird but Leonard just shot back that he liked to live in a mess. But because of this ritual, he always knew what was in his bag, give or take a few pieces of rubbish. Which was why he was confused to pull a brown leather watch out of the front pocket of his bag.

“What the-?” Leonard muttered, placing the watch on the floor and then turning his whole bag upside down. He preferred taking everything out one item at a time, so as not to damage anything, but it seemed this week he had acquired some stuff. Along with the watch, there were seven extra pens, two thread bracelets, and a blue scarf.

Leonard looked at the pile of objects, trying to work out how they had gotten there. The pens could easily have fallen in his bag he supposed, and the bracelets might have gotten stuck on the buckles. However, that wouldn’t explain how they ended up in one of the inside pockets or the scarf, which he didn’t know how he’d managed to miss earlier when he put his books in from his locker, and definitely not the watch, which looked very well cared for.

He picked up the scarf, trying to find any identifying features on it. There was no name on the label, which he hadn't really expected there to be, but there was a line of bees sewn on the two ends that appeared familiar. Where had he seen those bees?

Laura Macey wore a lot of bees.

“Damn,” Leonard said, staring in shock at the scarf in his hands. Laura Macey loved bees and had been showing off her new scarf in their Math class. Blue with lines of bees on the ends. How had he ended up with it? Had she dropped it and he’d just forget to give it back to her? But he had two other lessons with her on a Friday, and surely she would have been upset about no longer having her new scarf? Now that the thought about it, she’d been crying in English. Why hadn't he given it back to her then? He remembered her crying and, yes, he had heard one of the other girls whisper about how she’d lost her scarf, but he didn’t remember wanting to give the scarf back. In fact, he didn’t remember having her scarf.

“I’ll just give it back to her on Monday,” Leonard decided, hanging the scarf over the back of his chair. It was very pretty – the dark blue made the yellow of the bees glow brightly. The fabric was so soft and warm too.

He shook off those thoughts. God, it sounded like he planned to keep it. He stepped away from the scarf and picked up the watch. Now to figure out where this came from. He turned it over, checking to see if there was an inscription on the back.

_Happy Birthday_

_Joseph_

Leonard frowned. He didn’t know a Joseph so how was he meant to work out how this came into his possession. He didn’t even recognise-

He did recognise it. Walking to Maths he had seen it one of the 8th graders wearing it. He had just caught sight of it out of the corner of his eye, and it had completely captured his attention. He’d walked into the guy just to get a closer look. Only instead of just looking, he had undone the strap and slipped in into his bag. He collapsed onto his bed in horror. He had stolen it. He had purposefully stolen it! And with Noah’s sleight of hand training, it had been ridiculously easy. But why had he stolen it? Had it really just been that he’d like it? Then what did that mean for Laura’s scarf? He looked back at his chair, the dark blue of the scarf looking so soft against the solid wood. Oh God! He **had** stolen it!

“Bones? What’s wrong?”

Leonard looked up to see Jim standing in his doorway, sleepover bag slipping from his shoulder. Jim walked carefully into the room, shutting the door softly behind him, and perched next to him on the bed.

“Nice watch,” he said, “where’d you get it?”

“I stole it,” Leonard replied, voice cracking. Jim looked up at him in shock but his face quickly changed to concern.

“Why did you steal it?” he asked gently, and Leonard laughed humourlessly at the reversal of their roles. It was unusual for Jim to be the one offering comfort but it felt good right now. He needed someone else to be the calm one right now.

“I don’t really know. I saw it, liked it, and so I took it.”

“Are you going to give it back?”

“What?” Leonard asked, still stuck on being a thief.

“Are you going to give it back?” Jim repeated.

“I…yes. I am. I’m going to give the scarf back too.”

“Then that’s fine.”

“None of this is fine!” Leonard shouted, jumping up from the bed.

“I suppose not, but it makes it better that you’re going to give them back. You can just say that you found them. If you don’t want to return them to the people directly, you can just hand them in to Lost-and-Found, can’t you?”

Leonard stared at Jim. He was three years younger and yet he was taking control of the whole situation and staying calm while Leonard freaked out.

“Thank you,” he said softly, sitting back down and placing a kiss to the top of Jim’s head. Jim beamed up at him and Leonard could only smile back.

“I’ll tell Laura on Monday that I found her scarf before leaving school which is why I couldn’t return it then. I’ll put the watch into Lost-and-Found. I have no idea how I’d explain to a person I don’t know how I found and recognised his watch. And I don’t want him to realise that I nicked it right off his wrist.”

“You took it right from his wrist? Wow, Bones, that’s so cool.”

Leonard glared at him for that, but Jim just grinned and started going on about which film they should watch first tonight. Leonard felt his face soften and just huffed before joining in the debate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh god this week has been so long and tiring. I've spent it going back and forth and making sure that I'm not behind in any of my work. Writing this has just been so relaxing because it means the week is over and I've been looking forward to writing this chapter.   
> I hope you all like it.


	8. Leonard - Age 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is late. I had a major crash last Thursday so it's taken me a little while to pull myself back together. Next chapter will definitely be up this Sunday unless something major happens.

“So how was your first day of Middle School?”

“Shut up, Bones.”

“Not good then?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

Leonard let the subject drop. He had hoped that going to the Middle School to pick Jim up would have made certain that the younger boy would be in a good mood but it seemed even his presence wasn’t enough to make up for the terrible first day. He wondered just what could have happened for Jim to be this upset.

“I’m sorry.”

Leonard looked closely at Jim. Though they were walking side by side, Jim’s steps were dragging and his head was down, almost touching his chest.

“Just tell me what I can say or do to make it better.”

“Just being here is perfect. Thanks Bones.”

“No problem, kid,” Leonard said, trying to put some cheer into his voice. Jim threw him a small smile but then went right back to looking at his feet. With a sigh, Leonard wondered how he was going to pull his friend out of this funk.

“I found a PADD in my bag when I went to put my stuff into it after class.”

That caught Jim’s attention and Leonard was pleased to have those bright blue eyes looking at him again.

“What?”

“I found a PADD in my bag. I think I took it from my biology teacher’s desk. He was using it to tell us about this awesome new technique for tissue regrowth that’s just been discovered by a doctor in Europe.”

“Do you think that’s why you took it?”

“Probably.”

“Can’t you just get that information from your dad though? Or couldn’t Noah get it?”

“Yeah, they could. Anyway, I dropped it off at Reception on my way out saying I saw it in the hallway. They’ll make sure it gets back to him.”

“Maybe you should tell your dad about this?”

“Are you serious?” Leonard shouted, actually looking at Jim in shock. They had decided to keep this between themselves and now Jim, **Jim** of all people, wanted to get an adult involved?

“Yeah, I am Bones. It was fine when it was just pens and small stuff, but a PADD? That’s a big deal.”

“Jim, if I tell my dad, he’ll never let me leave the house unsupervised again.”

“No he won’t.”

“Yes he will.”

“No he won’t.”

“Whatever, I’m not telling him. And neither are you, best friend code remember?”

“Fine,” Jim said sulkily, “but you’re telling Noah.”

“Fine,” Leonard bit out.

They walked in silence for several minutes, both locked in their own thoughts. Leonard knew that he wasn’t being fair on Jim so turned to apologise, only to stop short at the sight his friend presented. Jim’s shoulders were shaking slightly, as if he was cold but the wet tracks down his cheeks, that he was trying to hide by keeping his head tucked down, told Leonard that those shivers weren’t because of the weather. Leonard stopped walking and called Jim’s name. The blond boy stopped a few steps ahead of Leonard but didn’t raise his head or look back. Leonard took it upon himself to act.

He stepped right into Jim’s personal space and pulled the shorter boy tight against his chest in a strong hug. Jim stayed frozen for a few moments then burst into action. He flung his arms around Leonard’s waist and began crying hard into his chest. Leonard just pulled him closer and held him tighter.

“It’s alright. It’s alright. I promise. Whatever’s happened, just tell me. I’m here. I’m here, always.”

“We were looking at recent heroes of StarFleet in history,” was all Leonard heard before Jim’s voice became just a mumble of sounds but it was enough. Recent StarFleet heroes. George Kirk.

“I’m so sorry, Jim,” Leonard murmured into Jim’s hair, placing a gentle kiss to the golden locks.

“I just…I…I just…”

“I know. You don’t have to explain. Not to me.”

“I love you, Bones.”

“I love you too.” Leonard didn’t even think before saying the words back. There was no need to. He did love Jim; he was not just his best friend, he was practically everything to Leonard.

“Let’s get you home,” Leonard said, only pulling away enough to look down at Jim’s face.

“Okay.” Jim’s voice was low and tired. He looked exhausted so Leonard kept his arm around Jim’s shoulder as they began walking again. Jim didn’t seem to mind, settling in as close to Leonard’s side as possible while still being able to walk properly.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the walk, though Leonard was sure that Jim was stuck in his own head just as much as Leonard was. He didn’t try to bring him out of it though. There would be time for that later and Leonard needed to sort out his own thoughts before he started work on Jim’s.

What he really needed to think about wasn’t how easily he had returned Jim’s words, or even the real meaning behind them. No, he needed to figure out how to let Pamela know that he couldn’t go to hers tonight and start work on their project without Jim finding out. He wouldn’t normally hide something like this from Jim. In fact, he had meant to tell Jim that they couldn’t hang out because he had to go work on this project, but now…Jim came first. The project wasn’t due for a couple of weeks so starting one day later wouldn’t hurt. But if Jim knew that he was putting aside school work for him, then he'd get all funny and force Leonard to go despite Leonard knowing he’d just spend the evening worrying about Jim. So he had to message Pamela without Jim’s noticing so that the kid didn’t try being all self-sacrificial.

“When we get to yours, do you want to set up a film while I make popcorn?”

“Sure Bones.”

Success. Leonard smiled. He was sure that he could get Jim back to his old self in time for dinner.


	9. Jim - Aged 14

Jim refused to look at the older boy beside him for the entire journey to the station. He knew that Bones kept glancing over at him, and that the little sighs he gave meant he wanted to speak but didn’t know how to start, yet Jim couldn’t bring himself to turn his head away from the window. If he looked over at Bones he was sure that he’d lose all control over himself and he couldn’t do that. He’d spent the whole of last night telling himself to pull it together, working on smiling without looking like he was about to cry, and every time the tears had threatened he had stopped all movement and just focused on breathing. He wouldn’t let all his hard work be undone just by one tiny glance at his best friend.

Even as he followed Bones and his parents onto the platform, he kept his gaze on his feet. He knew that he needed to look up, to make sure he had Bones’ face properly memorised but he just couldn’t do it. If he looked up he would cry.

“Jim.”

Bones’ voice was too soft, too understanding, and it made Jim shrink even further in on himself. He was acting like a child and yet his best friend was still nothing but considerate of his feelings.

“Jim, I need you to look at me.” That was practically a plea but Jim couldn’t just give in.

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll start crying.”

“Oh Jim.” Suddenly he was being pulled in tight against Bones’ chest and Jim returned the strong hold, wanting to bury his head in with Bones’ heart. Unbidden, several tears slipped out of the corners of his eyes. Jim didn’t let himself sob but, hard as he tried, he couldn’t stop the wet tracks running down his cheeks. He surreptitiously attempted to wipe them away on Bones’ shirt but when the arms around him tightened even further, he knew he had failed.

“It’s okay to cry,” Leonard said, and Jim heard the tears in his voice. He looked up at his best friend and saw that his eyes weren’t any dryer.

“Why are you crying?” he asked croakily.

“Because I’m going to miss you so much. Isn’t that why you’re crying?”

“Yes,” Jim sobbed out and buried his head back into Bones’ chest. They silently clung to each other, not noticing David and Eleanora moving off to give them a semblance of privacy.

“Okay,” Bones finally said, “enough is enough. No more crying. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jim agreed, taking his arms back from around Leonard and wiping first his tear tracks away, then Bones’.

“It’s not like I’m leaving forever. And we can talk everyday – you have my comm. right?”

“I got it,” Jim promised. “You will remember to call everyday though?”

“It’ll be the highlight of my day,” Bones promised with a grin.

“And you won’t forget me?” Jim knew he was being silly now – no way would Leonard forget him just because he was going to college – but he couldn’t help it. All of his insecurities were screaming for attention.

“I’m **never** going to forget you. Are you going to forget me?”

“ **Never**.” They smiled at each other, but neither brought up how weak the other looked. Jim wasn’t sure what else to say. Some part of his brain was begging him to ask Bones to stay but he knew that he couldn’t. Bones needed to go and be the most incredible doctor the universe had ever seen. It was his destiny. But he couldn’t help but worry what his destiny was. Especially without Bones right by his side.

“You’ll tell me everything that happens to you there, won’t you?” Jim asked and then had another thought enter which wasn’t welcome. “You’ll tell me if…if you meet someone?”

Jim didn’t want to look at Leonard after asking that, his heart clenching horribly at the thought that he might fall in love with some stranger. But he had to look up, and when he did he saw that Leonard was looking at him in serious consideration.

“What?” he asked weakly, unsure of his friend’s gaze. He felt even weaker as Bones pressed his lips against his.

He could move. He wanted so badly to be able to kiss Bones back – it was only his freaking dream come true – and yet he was completely and utterly frozen. His mind had gone blank and he wasn’t actually sure how he was still standing. As Leonard pulled back, he let out a ridiculously embarrassing squeak that made the older boy grin rakishly.

“Um…wh…what?” Jim finally managed to ask, staring up at Bones with wide eyes.

“You said it yourself: I’m your Bones.”

“I was a child,” Jim argued feebly.

“Doesn’t matter. You meant it then and I know you still mean it now. **I’m yours, Jim**. And you’re mine. No more thinking it over. I know how I feel.”

“I know how I feel too,” Jim whispered. Bones grinned and swiftly kissed him again, only this time Jim kissed back.

“It was about time I stole something from you,” Bones teased, and Jim couldn’t let that go unanswered even if meant being super cheesy.

“It’s not stealing if it’s yours.”

“That was terrible,” Bones laughed.

“But true,” Jim said sincerely. “I wouldn’t have my first kiss be anyone else.”

“Agreed,” and Jim inwardly sighed in relief at that. Bones had never told him that he’d ever kissed someone but it was a worry that he’d been having for several years now.

“I’ll call you the minute I get there,” Leonard said, smiling wide and tears nowhere in sight now.

“You better. And you tell everyone you’re taken,” Jim ordered, unable to stop grinning.

“Yes sir.”

“And you have to come home for every holiday-”

“I was planning to-”

“And you better learn everything about being a doctor-”

“Well of course I do, I have to deal with your antics-”

“And Bones?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

And so it was with a massive smile that Jim watched Bones board the train. He kept waving until the train was completely out of side and then he still stood there for a moments more. He could still feel the tingle on his lips from Bones’ kiss so he let himself jump into the air with a loud “YES!”

“I see that went better than expected.”

Jim turned, embarrassed, as he remembered that David and Eleanora had re-joined him to say one last goodbye to their son.

“Yeah, I guess,” he said sheepishly which only made the two adults smile more.

“I guess Noah wins the bet then, dear,” Eleanora said to her husband with a mischievous grin.

“I guess he does,” David replied with a sigh. “I guessed I put too much confidence in young Jim here.”

“Wait! What?” Jim shouted as the pair walked away laughing. “What bet? Did you guys bet on us? That’s so embarrassing! Wait. What about my mom? Did she know? Did she bet?! Did she?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, this story is pure fluff. Apart from tiny moments and Spock's beginning. I kind of feel bad about Spock. We'll see him next but I have in no way been as kind to him as have to these two love-struck fools. It'll turn around for him eventually.


	10. Spock - Aged 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You almost didn't get this today either. It would not be written and so I allowed the internet to distract me. But it is here now and I hope you enjoy it.

Spock had visited Earth with his parents five times before this trip so he was prepared for all the procedures that came with his father’s arrival as Ambassador. He just stood back and let everything pass him by. He had wanted to stay on Vulcan but his mother had insisted that he join them for this trip, stating that it would be their last one together for some time. He had acquiesced for her sake, though he had informed her that both she and his father would be busy with business. She had merely smiled at that and told him to pack plenty of sweaters.

Looking around now, Spock was not interested in anything that was happening around him.

“Mother,” he called, and waited for Amanda to face him before continuing. “I am going to go for a walk in the park.”

“Very well, Spock. Meet us at the main entrance in a couple of hours.”

“Yes, Mother.”

He watched his parents be swept up into the StarFleet headquarters then turned to leave. He had not gone far when he heard a male voice call out to him. He looked over his shoulder to find an older man in a Captain’s uniform hurrying over to him.

“Sorry to bother you, it’s Spock, right?”

“Yes, Captain. Though I do not believe we have been introduced.”

“It was a very long time ago – you were much shorter,” the man said with a grin and Spock wondered what he could want with him.

“Is there something I could help you with?” Spock asked politely.

“Actually, I thought I could help you.” Spock raised an eyebrow which caused the man to grin again. “My name’s Christopher Pike. Walk with me?”

“You are friends with my mother,” Spock stated, recognising the name.

“Indeed. Shall we?” Pike gestured for him to start walking. Spock considered it briefly and then began walking side by side with the captain. His mother had only ever had good things to say about Christopher Pike and he was interested to see how the human believed that he could be of assistance to Spock.

They walked mostly in silence to the park, Pike occasionally greeting cadets or officers who passed them. Spock took the time to study his companion. Captain Pike was in his prime, his hair grey but his step light. There were lines on his face, but from what Spock could observe they were created from smiles and laughter. Everyone they passed who greeted the captain, did so with a smile, suggesting that it was as his mother had said, that Pike was an agreeable man.

They stopped walking by a small lake, where flashes of colour proved to be fish darting beneath the surface. Pike stood looking down into the water and Spock wonder what he could be building himself to say.

“Amanda tells me you’re unsure about you’re future.”

“I am considering my options, yes.” Spock was unsure why the captain would be informed of this particular predicament of his.

“You want to tell me why you’re struggling to work out an answer?”

Spock considered this. He had decided not to bring up the issues he was facing with his parents; his father would not truly understand, and his mother would possibly worry which he did not want to be the cause of. It was proven amongst humans that discussing problems lead to clearer answers being found so perhaps he should attempt such a method. Pike appeared interested, and possibly had experience in similar situations.

“I am uncertain where to go upon finishing my studies.”

“I’d have thought you would be going into the Vulcan Science Academy.”

“My father believes that to be my future path, yes.”

“But you don’t.”

“How did you reach such a conclusion?”

“If you really wanted to go, you wouldn’t be struggling over this. You wouldn’t be ‘considering your options.’ If the Vulcan Science Academy was were you wanted to go, you’d be going there. Why don’t you want to go there?”

“I will not fit in,” Spock admitted. He had not actually said the reason aloud before but saying it now, he knew it to be true. He had had enough trouble amongst the other Vulcans already – they would not just accept him at their most prestigious institute. “I will be treated with scorn and be shunned.”

“Sounds like a fantastic place to go.”

“You are being sarcastic.”

“Oh yeah. That place will make you miserable.”

“Misery is an emotion-”

“And Vulcans don’t feel emotions. Don’t worry, I know. But Spock, I do want you to consider this question. Forget about logic and emotion being ridiculous for a minute and answer me this: Could you be enjoy learning there?”

The question required thought. Spock was not used to considering options based on such a reason. He supposed that he did enjoy the acquiring of knowledge but if he was doing so at the academy…

“No,” he said slowly. “I do not believe that I would enjoy learning there.”

“Then there’s your answer,” Pike said simply. “Don’t go.”

“It would be logical though,” Spock tried to reason, “and close to home.”

“Stupid reasons,” Pike stated brazenly. “You’ve an impressive record, even at your age. There’s plenty of other places you could go.”

“Such as?” Pike’s wide grin answered Spock’s question before his words did.

“StarFleet.”

Spock gave Pike a questioning look but the man was apparently being completely serious for all that he was grinning like a teenager. He really thought that Spock could find a place in StarFleet.

“StarFleet?”

“Consider it. You may even enjoy it.” And with that Pike turned and walked away, heading up the path towards StarFleet Academy. Spock started into the lake, watching the fish chase each other about.

“StarFleet?” he whispered to himself. “Perhaps.”

Feeling more at ease than he had in days (It seemed the humans were on to something when it came to unloading problems.) he started his own walk back. His parents would be another 45 minutes, but that would give him time to ready himself. He was not sure how they were going to take his new desire to apply fro StarFleet.


	11. Leonard - Aged 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is a week late but health once again got in the way. I'm getting back into myself now though thankfully.  
> I really really enjoyed writing this chapter so I hope you all love it as much as I do.

As Leonard tied up the instruments used for his last patient, he couldn’t stop himself from glancing at the clock several times. He only had ten minutes to go until his shift ended and he was praying that no emergencies would turn up. He had spent the whole week looking forward to this evening and he really didn’t want anything to mess it up. It wasn’t every day that people celebrated their 5 year anniversary.

He stuck one more peek at the clock, and resolved to not look again as he noticed that the numbers hadn't changed. Taking a deep breath, he focused on his task. He wasn’t a really superstitious person but he didn’t want to risk anything. Not today. He simply needed to finish work and not think about what Jim could possibly have planned. Something would definitely go wrong if he kept wishing for time to go faster.

Of course, now he couldn’t stop thinking about what Jim had planned. His gorgeous idiot had decided that he was going to surprise Leonard and take care of everything, which Leonard was rather worried about. The last time he’d let Jim surprise him had been their first date. The fact that he hadn't let Jim surprise him even once in the five years since then, kind of spoke for itself. The date hadn't been bad he supposed, but mainly because ‘bad’ didn’t cover it and he’d never wanted to give Jim the wrong impression by using a more appropriate word. Not that Jim wasn’t extremely aware of how ‘not well’ it had gone, see the lack of surprises, but the kid was ever optimistic and still to this day thought he could have saved it. Leonard had never had the heart to tell him that if he’d tried to keep it going, Leonard actually would have had second thoughts about dating him. It would never have affected how he felt about Jim, but they would have needed to sit down and have a serious conversation about how dating was going to work between them.

Another unplanned glance at the clock showed that he still had nine minutes left. Plenty of time for the universe to decide that it hated him. He needed to distract himself. Maybe he could actually take the time to replay that first date. He’d always put off remembering it fully – hell, their parents weren’t quite clear on what exactly had happened. He pictured how it had started: _Jim standing in the doorway to his tiny apartment, looking absolutely beautiful in a charcoal suit and holding a small bouquet of red roses. That charming smile, shyness hidden beneath deep affections and then the words…_

Leonard smacked his head against the PADD he was holding. No. He couldn’t make himself play it through from the beginning. Even the first words Jim had said must have been cursed.

He understood, of course, that it wasn’t all Jim’s fault. But Jim had had Plans A through E, and not a single one had worked. Five plans. Five possible first dates. And not one hadn’t ended horrifically. And Jim had wanted to keep trying.

 

**~~~~~**

 

“Look, just give me a minute and I can figure out how to fix this.”

Leonard looked from the burning building to Jim. His blond hair was streaked with dirt and blood, his suit was missing most of its fabric, and he was shivering despite the blanket the fire service had wrapped around his shoulders. As lightning streaked the sky again, followed by the instantaneous roar of thunder, Leonard pulled his own blanket closer around himself, resigned to using it more as a shield against the rain than as a device for keeping warm.

“Just stop.”

“What?” Jim turned to look at him, confusion shining in his still bright eyes.

“Stop,” Leonard repeated. “No more plans. No more tries. No more first dates.”

Jim looked crushed and quickly tucked his head down to stare at the ground. Leonard stepped right up close to him and lifted his blanket over both their heads. Jim glanced cautiously at him from the corner of his eye.

“I don’t need one.”

“What?”

“I don’t need a perfect first date. I don’t even need a first date,” Leonard clarified. “I just need you.”

“Really?” Jim asked breathlessly.

“Yeah,” Leonard said, and leant forward to catch Jim’s lips in a passionate kiss. Jim eagerly grabbed his waist and pulled him closer, and they both ignored the rain as Leonard dropped his arms to wrap around the blond’s shoulders.

“Come home with me,” Leonard whispered, barely removing his lips.

“Okay,” Jim agreed, “let’s go.”

 

**~~~~~**

 

Leonard bit his lip thinking about how wonderfully the night had ended once he finally took control. Since then, they’d had plenty of dates but not one of them had been a surprise. Jim had even taken him out to dinner the week after and it had been perfect – not one little problem. The only real difference between that night and Plan A for their first date: Leonard knew what was going on. Coincidence? He didn’t think so. And now here he was, five years later, waiting for Jim to surprise him again. Maybe he should make tonight’s Plan B. It might actually work then. But he had promised Jim that he wouldn’t get involved, that he’d let Jim control everything.

A beeping from the corner of the room distracted him from his reminiscing.

“McCoy,” he called into the com.

“It’s Tina. You’re shift’s over, and there’s a handsome young man waiting here for you. You better leave quickly before you get stuck here.”

“I’m on my way. The handsome man isn’t wearing a suit though, right? If he is, I might just stay here.”

“No suit. Not even a flower.”

“Thank God. I’ll be right there,” Leonard said with a grin. He hadn't even been joking about Jim being in a suit. He wasn’t prepared to trust him that much but, as usual, Jim had read his mind.

He walked into the hospital reception and when he saw Jim, his heart started beating just that bit faster. His boyfriend wasn’t even dressed that much differently; there was just a lack of oil or other engine-based stains on his clothes, hair or skin.

“Ready to go, Bones?” Jim asked with a huge grin.

“You going to tell me where we’re going, kid?”

“Nope,” Jim smirked and held his arm out for Leonard to take. Leonard raised an eyebrow but went along with it.

“This better be good.”

“Oh, it is.”

 

*********

 

“Jim…”

“Well? What do you think?”

“I think I love you,” Leonard said, voice breaking from all the emotion. He was staring into the exact room where all the wrongs of that first date had been fixed. The year after that night, the building where Leonard had had his first apartment had been converted into a hotel and Leonard had never expected to step foot in it. But here they were, standing in the same doorway and looking at the same room. Leonard wasn’t sure how Jim had gotten permission (he was guessing he’d phoned Noah though) but somehow he had transformed the room to look the way Leonard’s bedroom had in that apartment.

“Come on in then,” Jim grinned, tugging him into the room by the hands.

“Why?” Leonard had to ask.

“You were right that night,” Jim explained. “We didn’t need a perfect first date; we just needed us. We still only need us. But this is the room where you made me believe that and I wanted you to know that even five years on it’s still true. I love you, Bones.”

“I love you too.”

So…this time you’re going to do more than kiss me, right?”

“I blew your mind that night just by kissing you.”

“I don’t deny that but still…”

“Oh come here! Infant.”


	12. Jim - Aged 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how late this chapter is in coming but December/January are always my busiest months. What with Christmas and New Years, we also went to Oslo for a few days for my birthday. Uni also takes up so much, what with coursework, homework, and the moving to and from. I also started a new module this semester so I had preparation for that. Everything has been so busy but this year is looking up. My health issues are all sorted, I feel confident where I am with my uni work and now I'm back writing this.   
> So, without further ado, enjoy two new chapters. (There's also been a bit of a change of direction. Not massive but I had to do some switching around of POV and plot points. All will become clear by the end of this chapter, which was NOT planned. Damn it Jim!)

Jim was working under the hovercraft when his boss Kenjo called his name.

“Busy!” he yelled back.

“Well, when you’ve got a minute, there’s a guy waiting ‘ere for you!”

“What guy?” Jim asked, but Kenjo had already moved on. If he had meant Bones he would have just said so, or even just let him through. The only other people who knew he worked here were his mom, Bones’ parents, and Noah. Well, and Mr. Aldridge, but Jim had never actually met him and he was sure that he would have demanded a bit more respect from Kenjo.

“Guess I’ll just have to go and see,” he muttered, sliding himself out from under the car. Wiping his hands on his jeans, he headed over to Kenjo’s office. As he walked in he made sure to get a good look at his visitor.

It was an older man in his prime, with piercing eyes and a commanding presence that asked for respect and obedience. Jim had the odd feeling that he had seen him before but he couldn’t place him. Knocking on the open door, Jim asked “you wanted to see me?”

“You don’t remember me, do you son?”

“Can’t say I do, sir.”

“My name is Christopher Pike. I’m an old friend of your mom’s; she told me where to find you. I came to your 7th birthday party? You were more interested in the present your best friend gave you, but mine was a good third.”

“Pike…Pike…you’re with StarFleet! You bought me my own uniform.”

“I did indeed.”

“What brings you to see me now?” Jim asked, indicating for Pike to join him in sitting down.

“Well, I'm actually here about StarFleet.”

“What about it? Do they want to look at dad’s stuff again?”

“I'm not here about your father, Jim. I want you to join StarFleet.”

Jim was sure he had to have misheard.

“Could you, I don’t know, maybe repeat that?”

“I'm here to recruit you to StarFleet.” Pike looked amused by Jim’s shock and that’s probably what pulled him out of it.

“You want **me** to join StarFleet? Why?”

“Because you’re a perfect candidate. You’re getting the highest grades in both your astrophysics and engineering courses. All you teachers say that you are a natural leader with plenty of charisma. StarFleet would be lucky to have you join the engineering track what with your knowledge, but I think you could go so much further. I want you to join the command track.”

“Command? Like my dad? Become captain of a star ship?”

“You need a few years training and some experience on an actual ship, but yes, I think you could do it.”

“Wow.” Jim stood up and began pacing. This was something he had to think seriously about. He’d thought about StarFleet, of course he had. With his dad having been George Kirk and his mom having her own shining record, loving the stars was is in his blood. As a kid, he’d dreamed a lot of being Captain Kirk, exploring the furthest reaches of the stars. He’d spent hours making Bones play along with him. And now…his dream was being offered up on a silver platter. But there were so many things that had to be considered.

“When mom lost dad she swore she’d never set foot on a ship again; that she was done with space. If I went up…”

“I’ve already spoken to Winona.”

“What?”

“I went to your mom first,” Pike explained. “I’ve kept an eye on your academic record for years. With your parents being who they are…StarFleet watches such potentials. But I know what you mean to your mom, and I know how much it hurt Winnie to lose the love of her life to space. I knew that there was no way you’d go without her blessing, but I wouldn’t ask you to ask her for it. So I decided to talk to her about it first. But before I couldn’t even begin my speech about recruiting you, she told me that it was your choice, and your choice alone, if you joined StarFleet. She already knew why I was there and said she wasn’t going to stop you if you wanted to go. In fact, she thinks it’ll be a good challenge for you.”

“She said that?” Jim asked incredulously.

“She did. You’re her son – she knows you. And she’s always had a habit of taking people by surprise,” Pike said with a smile.

“It’s not just my mom I have to consider though,” Jim admitted quietly. “I also have a job-”

“And is this what you want to be doing for the rest of your life?” Pike asked sharply. “You could do so much more, **be** so much more. Look Jim, you’ve got three months to apply. Take your time. Evaluate your life. Figure out what you want. And I’ll see you when term starts,” Pike finished with a wicked grin and a wink, leaving Jim’s world shaking. Pike seemed so sure that he would take this opportunity, and he was incredibly tempted, but Pike thought that it was just Jim’s mom and job holding him back from saying yes.

 

*********

 

“Honey, I’m home!” Jim called as he kicked closed the apartment door.

“Then you best set the table, darlin’,” a gruff southern voice replied from the kitchen, making Jim grin.

“This smells delicious,” he said, wrapping himself around Bones from behind and burying his head in the older man’s neck. “Bet it tastes so as well.”

“You talking about the food or me?” Leonard snarked, but Jim could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hmm…both,” Jim decided, licking the neck in front of him.

“Set the table,” Bones ordered, laughing as he shoved the blond away from him.

“So…I have something I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh, did something happen at work?” Bones asked, dishing the food up and bringing it to the table.

“Kind of. I got a visit from Christopher Pike.”

“The StarFleet captain that you’re mom’s friends with?”

“How do you do that?”

“What?”

“How do you remember everyone?”

“I don’t remember **everyone** Jim, but he and Winona are close so I wanted to keep an eye on his intentions.”

“His intentions?”

“Yeah. So why did he come see you?”

“Oh no. Go back to the part about his intentions with **my mom**.”

“Honestly Jim, she’d a grown woman who’s spent years alone. Let her be sweet on him. He clearly cares a lot for her.”

“ **My mom likes him back!** ”

“Jim! Focus! What did he say to you that’s got you all jittery?”

“I’m not jittery,” Jim denied sulkily. Bones raised an eyebrow at him though and he caved. He could never compete against the eyebrows.

“He wants me to join StarFleet,” Jim said with bated breath.

“Oh.”

“Is that a good ‘oh’ or a bad ‘oh’?”

“Well…we’ll have to let the landlord know right away. And I’ll have to give the hospital my notice. We should go home and tell everyone in person – you know mama; she’ll want to throw a big get together.”

“Wait wait wait. Are…are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“Jim, this has only been your dream since you were a kid. You were born to be among the stars. And **I** promised that we’d always be together, so I have to come with you.”

“But you’re afraid of flying.”

“Then you’ll just have to teach me not to be.”

“There’s no guarantee that we’ll even get to stay close to each other.”

“I’m sure your mom can convince Pike to pull some strings.”

“So we’re doing this?”

“Of course we are.”

“Marry me!”

There was a beat as they both processed what Jim had just said.

“Say that again.”

“Marry me?”

“Do you mean that? Because you sounded more confident the first time.”

“That’s because it was spontaneous.”

“Well?”

“Of course I meant it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“You might find someone else at StarFleet.”

“No. **We** might find someone who we care enough about to invite to join us but I never want to live my life without you. I love you Bones.”

“Then yes.”

“Yes?”

“Yes I’ll marry you. I love you too, you idiot.”

They stared across the table at each other for a moment and then Jim gave a yell and threw himself over it at Leonard. The brunette caught him, pulling him tight to his chest as the chair tipped to the floor under their combined weight. They kissed passionately for what felt like hours before Jim pulled back to straddle Bones’ hips.

“Enough.”

“Why?”

“I’m not having engagement sex on the floor. I want you naked in out bed. Now.”

“Yes Captain,” Leonard said with a sultry smirk, lifting Jim into his arms as he stood.


	13. Leonard - Academy Year 1

Walking back from StarFleet Medical to apartment he shared with Jim, Leonard couldn’t deny that he was happier than he thought he would be here. Coming to StarFleet had been for Jim, to fulfil an old dream, but he found that he actually had a place here as well. Despite already being a doctor, he found that StarFleet had so much more for him to learn, and not just about xeno-biology. And he was loving every minute of it. He’d even made a couple of friends: a doctor, Geoff M’Benga, and a nurse, Christine Chapel. Oh, and Christine’s girlfriend Uhura who had begun a friendly challenge with Jim to guess her first name. Life was perfect.

“Yep, definitely perfect,” he murmured to himself, looking down at the ring on his left hand. He couldn’t quite believe that he and Jim were actually married, though Jim helped remind him by calling him ‘Husband’ at opportune moments. It had been a small ceremony, when they had gone home to tell their family about their decision to join StarFleet. They hadn't wanted to make a big deal about it because, as Jim said, it had always been the next step for their relationship. They loved each other and nothing was going to separate them. Marriage was the logical cause of action. But it wasn’t just logical – Leonard didn’t really do logical except in the operating room – it was what they wanted; a way to show how deep their devotion was.

So lost in thoughts of Jim and distracted by his ring, Leonard didn’t notice that his path had intersected with someone else’s until he walked right into them, smacking his head against theirs. Hard.

“OW!” Leonard howled, pressing his palms to his forehead. His brain felt like it was spinning and he had no doubt that a bruise was already forming.

“You should watch where you are going,” a stiff voice informed Leonard.

“You clearly weren’t looking where you were going either or you wouldn’t have walked into me,” he snapped back.

“You were the one who stepped into my path.”

“Well if you were looking where you were going, why didn’t you move out of the way?” Leonard was not impressed with this stranger laying all the blame on him. He knew he wasn’t innocent, but this guy should accept responsibility as well. He raised his head, ready to start a full-on argument if the guy didn’t get over himself, but what he saw in front of him shocked him. The guy in front of him was Vulcan.

He’d never actually seen a Vulcan, and though they had studied them in xeno-biology, the teacher hadn't actually been able to tell them too much about them. And he certainly hadn't mentioned the possibility of such a ridiculous haircut.

“Do all Vulcan’s cut their hair like that? It’s awful.” Damn his brain-to-mouth connections. Yeah, the guy had every right to be pissed now.

“Are all humans so limited in their vision? It would explain why you are incapable in many fields.” That was taking it too far though.

“Well clearly you’re just as ‘limited in vision’ because You. Walked. Into. Me.”

“I did not.”

“You didn’t move though.”

“I should not have had to. You should not have allowed yourself to become distracted.”

“So you noticed that I was distracted but just decided to keep walking until you hit me then?” The Vulcan looked coldly down at him but Leonard wasn’t impressed. He’d been a master scowler since he was a baby. No one who claimed emotions were useless was going to out glare him. Only he found he couldn’t keep his eyes locked on the Vulcan’s. He was being distracted by the necklace that was sitting just below his line of sight. The metal casing was dark from age but the stone set in it shone brightly. It was cut in the shape of a diamond and was only a shade darker than Jim’s eyes. It was beautiful and Leonard could already feel his hands twitching.

“Whatever,” he huffed and went to push past the Vulcan.

“Leaving is the best option for you. There is no way you can compete in any way against myself.”

“Listen here you pointy-eared hobgoblin!” Leonard growled, forgetting his plan to walk away and spinning right back into the taller brunette’s personal space. “You may be physically stronger but there’s no way you’re intellectually superior. Because if you were, you wouldn’t keep that stupid hairdo **and** you would know better than to challenge a Southern doctor. I know exactly how to extract your organs!” With that said, Leonard spun around again and actually left. The weight of the necklace burning in his hand.

 

*********

 

Leonard had spent the whole night fiddling with the chain of the necklace. Jim had thankfully not asked him about it, but Leonard knew he had noticed. He always noticed when Leonard stole something. He let out an aggravated groan. He had managed to not take a single thing since joining the academy. Until now. And he was at a loss as to what to do. He couldn’t just return it; for one he didn’t know where he’d even find the Vulcan, and for another, the thought of seeing the guy pissed him off because he could guess how condescending that meeting would go. He could just turn it in, but then there was always the possibility that it wouldn’t get back to its owner. And he couldn’t tell them he knew who owned it because that would raise its own questions. He’d just have to hang on to it until a brainwave hit.

Distracted by his thoughts, he found himself once again walking into someone.

“My apologies.”

Leonard looked up with a frown, recognising the voice. Yep, he’d run right into the hobgoblin. What did he do now?

“No worries. I wasn’t looking where I was going either. And that’s how our last conversation should have gone as well. Sorry about the insult.”

“Oh. You again. I am also sorry for how I acted last time.” The Vulcan seemed much more subdued this time and Leonard was a little worried. The guy seemed to have so much fire before.

“Is something wrong?”

“Why do you ask?” The Vulcan actually seemed uncertain about his question.

“Well last time we did this it was all fire and brimstone but now you seem more…drizzle and ashes. If you get my meaning.” From the look of it, he didn’t have a clue what Leonard was saying. “You seem sad,” Leonard clarified.

“Ah, yes, I suppose…I am? I recently lost something very dear to me.”

“Did you now?” Leonard had no idea how that came out so steady.

“Yes. My apologies again for yesterday. Please excuse me.” The Vulcan went to walk past but Leonard stopped him by grabbing his arm.

“I’m Leonard.” He wasn’t sure why he said that. Sometimes he wondered whether marrying Jim had been a good idea – his stupid spontaneity appeared to be contagious.

“Spock.” They stared at each other until Spock’s eyes jumped to Leonard’s hand which was still on his arm. Leonard quickly let him go.

“I hope you find whatever you lost.” Had that seemed sincere? Was he really going to leave it like this?

“Thank you,” Spock said quietly, the sad look in his eyes cutting into Leonard. He watched the Vulcan walk away and realised that he just couldn’t do it.

“Oi, Spock!” Spock turned around, an eyebrow raised in question. Leonard took a deep breath and stepped up to him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, and held out the necklace. Spock looked wide eyed from it to him and back again.

“How…?”

“I took it.” The eyes that had looked so sad shut down instantly and Leonard could tell that Spock just wanted to grab the necklace and leave. “Let me explain? Please?”

“What is there to explain? You were so angered by our disagreement that you stole it from me. Though I would like to know how you managed to without alerting me.”

“That wasn’t why I took it.”

“Then what was?”

“I wanted it.”

“Do you always just take things you want?”

“Sometimes. I can’t help it.”

“Explain.”

“Sometimes, when I see something, I can’t look away from it, and I want it, so I take it. I’ve been doing it since I was a kid. I try to make sure things get back to their rightful owners but…well, I don’t always remember who I take things from.” Spock was looking at him in interest now, like he was a puzzle to be figured out and Leonard wasn’t sure whether he liked it.

“I should be going. I am sorry for taking it. I’ll…yeah. Bye.” Leonard turned, ready to just run but this time Spock was the one taking his arm.

“I forgive you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. This is clearly a condition you have struggled with but you try to right your wrongs. I am interested in how your theft escaped my notice though.”

“Trade secret, I’m afraid,” Leonard replied. “Though my husband would describe it as ‘magic hands’.”

“Your husband?”

“Yeah. Speaking of whom, I'm meant to be meeting him now. It was nice to actually speak to you Spock.”

“You as well Leonard.”


	14. Spock - Academy Year 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slinks back in and whispers* Anyone still here?
> 
> I know. It's been 4 months. But I have finally finished university, for good. 3 years of further education - done. Which means... I'M BACK! And you get both Spock and Jim's chapters for Academy Year 1. I can promise that the next update will be much sooner than this one was.

Spock only noticed the intrusion into the Kobayashi Maru’s system because he happened to be checking over the parameters of the Klingon Bird of Prey. He watched, intrigued, as someone sneaked through the protective firewalls and then proceeded to inlay their own command sequence that would overrule the Bird of Prey’s shield generator. It was impressive work but Spock would not allow anyone to cheat at his test. It was not difficult to follow the hack back to the console initiating it; the hacker obviously assumed that he would not be looking at the system. (And Spock would not have been if he had not been told by Nyota to stay in his room and rest. He did not understand her worry; he would not classify a slight headache and blocked nose as ‘ill’. Besides, Vulcan’s were a sturdy species. They did not get colds.) He could not tell who was using the console – the cheater had at least been sensible enough to hide their identity – but he could easily go and check who last used the device. Nyota would never know he left his room, and he was perfectly well anyway.

Now he found himself standing outside the room designated to one Jim Kirk and his husband Leonard McCoy. Spock wondered if this could be the same Leonard whom he had met the other day. The southern man had said he was married. Shrugging thoughts of the oddly charming man aside, he knocked on the door. And knocked again. He knew that Kirk was in his room; security had confirmed it, so he was rather irritated that the man was not answering. As he knocked a third time, his head went dizzy, and the number on the door appeared to have a double.

“Woah, man. Are you okay?”

Spock looked up to find the door had finally opened. Standing before him was an extremely blond young man who was missing a shirt. He shut his eyes and opened them again. The man still was not wearing a shirt and now looked concerned.

“I don’t think you’re alright. Do you need me to take you to medical?”

“No,” Spock said quickly, trying to order his thoughts. “You are Jim Kirk?”

“Yeah, who’s asking?” He looked at Spock suspiciously now. “Is there a problem?”

“Only that you hacked into the Kobayashi Maru and changed the parameters of the test. That is cheating and is an offence that could result in you being brought before the admiralty. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

“What proof do you have that I did it?” The blond man crossed his arms, prepared to be stubborn. Spock really wished he would not be. Perhaps he should have listened to Nyota and rested.

“Cadet Kirk, I traced the hack myself. It came from the terminal in your room. Security has confirmed that you were in your room at the time and if I had the device confiscated I am certain that it will be found that you were also the one to access it. Unless someone else has been in the room with you, in which case you surely would have noticed what they were doing and thus are an accessory to the crime and would fall under the same punishment. Was there anyone else with you today?”

“Do you know you’re swaying?”

“Pardon?” Spock did not understand what Kirk had just asked. Swaying? What did that have to do with the charges?

“You’re swaying. Not standing straight. I really think I should take you to medical.”

“I have caught you in violation of the rules of-”

“Yeah, yeah, just let me get a shirt. You can court martial me on the way but Bones would **kill** me if didn’t get you to a doctor right away. And that doesn’t fit with my plans for tonight.”

“Bones?” Spock was very confused now. Kirk seemed to have materialised a shirt and they were no longer standing outside his room. In fact, they were outside and Spock had no memory of how they got there. Kirk was still talking but the words were not making sense; it was like Spock’s head was underwater.

“Oh, you’re really not doing well. Here, let me just…” And now it seemed Kirk was holding him up. Why could he not hold himself up? He had the horrible feeling that Nyota was going to yell him the next time she saw him.

“Here we go. Hey, Bones! I’ve brought you a patient.”

“What the hell, Jim! How did… Where… Spock?”

Spock looked up at the familiar voice, “Hello Leonard.” Leonard stared at him in horror. “I did not realise that you were a doctor.”

“Do you know this guy, Bones?”

Leonard looked from him to Kirk and visibly pulled himself together. “Jim, get him in a room now! Chapel! I need an IV over here and plenty of fluids.”

Spock was relatively certain that he blacked out then. There was still a lot of noise around him but it seemed further away and not as important as it did when he could still see the people involved. He decided it was better for him to just slip into his mind and focus on what he had to do once he got well. Apologising to Nyota was of utmost importance. Clearly she had been right to say that he was ill. He also had to make sure that Kirk understood that he would not be brought up on charges of cheating but he was to realise that Spock would be keeping a close eye on him now. Especially in regards to the Kobayashi Maru. Perhaps he should inform Kirk of all this while Leonard was present. The southern man did not appear to be type that would accept such despicable actions. He should also call his mother about this health issue. She would find out about it anyway, and if he did not bring it up himself she would be displeased.

Spock allowed himself to drift.

 

*********

 

Slowly, Spock opened his eyes. He was lying in a bed in StarFleet hospital and the man who had stolen, then returned, his mother’s necklace was stood at the foot of the bed. When he tried to sit up, Leonard stopped his perusal of the medical chart in his hands and smiled at him.

“If you wanted to catch up, we could have just got lunch.”

“I do not have your comm. number so how would we have arranged lunch?”

“So Vulcan’s **do** have a sense of humour! Or are you just the exception?”

“I was not being humorous. Logic dictates that to arrange to meet we would need to communicate and as we had no method of doing so then we could not have met in an arranged manner.”

“Okay, scrap what I just said then. How are you feeling?”

“I am feeling better, thank you. I am grateful for your care.”

“I’m a doctor, caring for the sick is what we do. You shouldn’t have been out and about though. What made you think it was a good idea to go chasing criminals while you were sick?”

“I did not gauge my condition to be so serious. I felt my health to be at an acceptable level when I went to apprehend your husband.”

“Well of course you felt fine then, you weren’t burning up at that point! Honestly, what do they teach you about health on Vulcan? Nothing clearly. And as for my husband, he told me all about what he did.”

“I am prepared to consider this incident a warning,” Spock was quick to assure. He did not want Leonard to think that he was ungrateful for what he and Kirk had done for him.

“Really? I wouldn’t blame you if you pulled him up.”

“I see no need to. If you have spoken to him, I am sure that he will not attempt such an act again.”

“Like hell he won’t! But how come you’re so convinced of my ability to punish him?”

“You have the same look about you as my mother. She does not let any transgressions get past her.”

“Sounds like a wonderful lady, I’d love to trade stories.” Spock found he could not look away from Leonard’s smile. It seemed at odds with his gruff appearance.

“Am I free to go, Doctor?” he asked, keen to get back to work.

“And what’s wrong with ‘Leonard’?”

“I am sorry?”

“There’s no need for you to go all formal on me just because I stuck a needle in you.”

“Of course. Leonard. May I leave now?”

“Oh get out of here,” Leonard said with exasperation. “But you are not allowed to go exhaust yourself by working. We will be by to check on you at lunchtime.”

“I assure you there is no need to do so,” Spock tried to explain but Leonard was already shaking his head at him.

“Nice try, hobgoblin. But Jim and I’ll be outside your room at 1. If you’re not there, we will hunt you down. Now you can get out.”

Not feeling capable of disobeying such an order, Spock left the hospital. It seemed he now had lunch plans. It was not such a bad thing. He could always work later. He just hoped that Kirk would not also take to calling him ‘hobgoblin’.

“And just what were you doing in there?” Nyota’s accusing voice asked from behind him. Maybe he should not have hurried to leave the hospital.


	15. Jim - Academy Year 1

Jim wasn’t sure how long he had been in the library but it felt like forever. He was surrounded by PADDs, all open on different evasive techniques and tactical commands that he couldn’t remember learning about. Maybe he hadn't. Maybe this was all punishment for missing a lesson he hadn’t even realised he was meant to attend. He thumped his head down onto the desk. He didn’t need this right now. All he wanted to do was go back to his room and snuggle up with his husband. That wasn’t going to happen though.

Leonard was currently just as stressed as he was. While Jim had this final essay to get finished, Leonard was expected to sit his first flight exam this weekend. So Jim couldn’t go home because Bones was stressing out, and he currently did not have the capability to calm him down. And now he was feeling guilty. He had done all he could to help Bones: constantly joining him for flight simulations, talking him down when the panic got too much, listening to him rant about his fears. He had planned to spend the whole week before the exam with Bones to keep him as relaxed as possible. Only his tactics teacher had decided to throw a last essay on them without any warning. And though Leonard had said it was fine, and that he wouldn’t be happy if Jim didn’t prioritise his own education, Jim couldn’t stop worrying that he’d made the wrong decision. Which meant the essay wasn’t getting written anyway. He thumped his head again. _Screw this_ , he thought, _I’m just going to go back to Bones. I’ll write the essay in our room; at least I’ll be near him_.

“Jim? Are you well?”

With a hysterical snort, Jim lifted his head to see Spock’s concerned expression. Not that he expected many people would be able to tell that the Vulcan was concerned, but since the Kobayashi Maru incident, Jim and Leonard had had plenty of opportunities to learn the differences in Spock’s facial expressions. He had become a really close friend, something they knew surprised him.

“Not really,” Jim admitted, glaring at the PADDs

“Do you need assistance?” Spock asked sincerely, taking the seat opposite Jim’s.

“Honestly? I just need this essay to not be in tomorrow.”

“Is there a reason you left it until now?” Spock’s question sounded mostly neutral, but Jim detected the tiniest hint of disapproval. Bless him for trying though.

“It was a last minute surprise. Hobart only set it yesterday.”

“That cannot be allowed.” Knowing that Spock of all people was upset by his situation really was touching. “To set a piece of work with such a short turn in time is illogical. You will not be able to hand in your best work.”

“Hobart says that once we get out there, we’re going to have to come up with tactics on the spot. There’ll be no time to stop and think for a week. He doesn’t care about how the work is laid out; he just wants to see how we do under pressure. He’s got a point, and any other time I’d have no problem with such an assignment. But I just can’t focus on it right now. Which probably means I’m not actually fit to command a ship if I can’t think about two things at once,” Jim finished with a groan, and threw his head back down onto the table. He was probably going to end up bruising himself, and wouldn’t that just make Bones feel even better, knowing that his husband was beating himself up because of his aviophobia.

“My mother says ‘Everyone has bad days.’ Even Captains of starships. Just because you find you cannot focus now, does not mean that will always be the case. Or if it will even happen. An essay, after all, is not the same as an intergalactic crisis.”

“That was actually very encouraging. Thanks, Spock,” Jim said with a small smile.

“My pleasure, Jim,” Spock replied, almost returning the smile. “May I ask why you find yourself distracted?”

“It’s Bones’ flight exam this weekend.”

“You are worried Leonard will not pass?”

“I'm worried his aviophobia is going to crush him because I haven’t been able to be near him and keep him from working himself up into a panic attack about it.”

“Oh. I had not realised Leonard suffered in such a way.” And now Jim had sunk Spock into worry. He could practically hear Bones congratulating him.

“Yeah.” Jim didn’t know what to say. At least he wasn’t alone in his funk anymore.

“Then the logical course of action is for me to assist you in finishing your essay as quickly as possible so that you may return to Leonard’s side.”

“What?” Jim asked, confusion and hope mixing inside him. “You’ll help me with my essay?”

“Indeed. I consider both Leonard and yourself my friends, and I believe it is in situations like this that a friend is most needed.”

“You’re brilliant, Spock, utterly brilliant,” Jim cheered, settling in to work. He felt so much better now.

 

*********

 

The Following Monday:

“Spock! Hey Spock!” Jim yelled across the courtyard as he ran to where the Vulcan was sitting by himself. Spock looked up and waited until he had skidded to a halt before speaking.

“Yes, Jim?”

“You’re brilliant!”

Spock’s ears went green at the praise and Jim grinned widely as he threw himself down beside him.

“I assume from your enthusiasm that the weekend went well for Leonard and yourself?”

“‘Well’?” Jim asked, grin mischievous. “‘Well’ doesn’t begin to cover it. It was fantastic. Hobart loved my essay, which is all thanks to you, and because you helped me write it quickly, I managed to get Bones completely relaxed. You’re a life saver.”

“I do not believe either your life or Leonard’s was really in danger.”

“But our life in StarFleet was! Bones passed his first flight exam. That’s a great first step to getting over his aviophobia. Nothing’s going to stop us now! And it’s all thanks to you.”

“I cannot take all the credit-”

“Just take the credit, hobgoblin.”

Jim and Spock turned round to see Leonard standing behind them. Jim jumped up with a cry of “Bones!” and threw his arms around him. He loved how Bones automatically wrapped his arms around him in return and pulled him closer.

“I thought you were going to be late tonight?” Jim asked, pressing butterfly kisses all over his Bones’ face.

“I may have managed to get out early,” Leonard said with a cheeky grin.

“Perfect,” Jim replied, and pulled him into a much less chaste kiss. He whined when Bones pulled away but the doctor just snorted and indicated to…Spock! Jim blushed and hid his head in Bones’ neck, embarrassed at having acted rather indecently in front of their Vulcan friend. There were just some people that you felt you should behave a little more decently in front of.

“It is quite alright, Jim. It is natural for humans to be affectionate towards their mates.”

“Still,” Jim sighed apologetically. He turned back to Spock, leaning against Bones’ chest and wrapping those strong arms around his waist. “I could have been a little more considerate of you sitting there.”

“I assure you, there is nothing to feel guilty for.” Spock sounded absolutely sincere so Jim decided to drop the subject, particularly as those ears looked even greener.

“Well, as I don’t have to go back to the hospital, why don’t we go out for dinner?” Leonard asked, squeezing Jim’s waist.

“Sounds good. How about that Italian place on the corner?”

“Great. You coming, Spock?”

Spock titled his head, a sure sign of confusion that Jim privately thought was adorable.

“Would you not rather spend the time together?”

“We’ll be together, you’ll just be there as well. Please, Spock? You helped this one with essay and made sure he could come help me. Please come?” Leonard asked, Georgian charm turned right up. Jim didn’t know how anyone could resist that voice, and it seemed neither did Vulcans.

“Very well, I will join you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jim may be a genius but he has bad days too.


	16. Leonard - Academy Year 2

“And that’s it for today. Don’t forget to choose a species for your assignment and let me know by Sunday night latest. If you don’t, it’s going to be much harder for you to acquire all the research you’ll need.”

“So what are you going to write about?” Geoff asked as they filed out of the classroom.

“I’m not sure yet,” Leonard automatically answered as he checked through the messages on his communicator. Looking up, he found an eyebrow raised at him in disbelief. He returned the look with one of his own.

“Really?” Geoff scoffed. “You’ve been doing a lot of extracurricular research on a very particular subject lately.”

“So what?”

“So I’m surprised that you haven’t decided to use your favourite topic.”

“And what topic would that be?” Leonard snapped.

“The one walking towards you.” With a wink, Geoff hurried down the corridor, briefly pausing to throw a nod at Spock.

“Dick,” Leonard huffed, earning a disapproving Vulcan look. “Oh, you know I didn’t mean you.”

“Indeed. You only use speciest classifiers to refer to me.”

“You are such a joker.”

Silently they left the building but Leonard could feel Spock’s eyes on him. Cutting a quick glance over to his companion, he saw that the looks were of concern. He couldn’t just ignore that – he didn’t want to make Spock worry.

“I’m just a bit annoyed at Geoff, alright? He said something irritating that’s all.”

“May I ask what?” Since it was asked so sincerely and out of such unnecessary concern for him, Leonard knew he had to explain. He just wasn’t sure how Spock was going to react to his research.

“I’ve spent a lot of time recently investigating safe medical practises. For Vulcans.”

“An intriguing topic as Vulcans are not ones for sharing details of their physiology lightly.”

“Precisely. But I’ve been mainly focused on medical practises that differentiate due to the differences in human and Vulcan physiology and how one could incorporate techniques from each method to account for both physiologies.”

“In order to create a universal procedure? One that would be safe for both species?”

“Or for a combination of both species. Such as a hybrid,” Leonard finished tentatively. Spock didn’t reply. He just gazed somewhat blankly at Leonard, who found it a rather disconcerting look when on a Vulcan. He really needed to say something. Or at least move. They were stopped in the middle of the path between the science building and the main campus. People were starting to stare. And with every second, the moment got ever more awkward. If Spock didn’t speak soon…

“You are fascinating.”

Huh? “I’m…Sorry? What?” He had not just said that. Leonard simply hadn't heard him right.

“You are fascinating.”

Or maybe Spock was ill again. That would account for the nonsense coming out of his mouth, right? Even Vulcan’s could suffer from feverish delusions.

“Leonard, why is your hand on my forehead?”

“Hush, I’m checking your temperature.”

“I am uncertain why.”

“Because you’re talking crazy, man. You don’t feel unnaturally warm, but who really knows what’s normal for a hobgoblin.” Leonard may have been starting to sound hysterical but it was justified. He’d been complimented. By a Vulcan.

With an audible sigh, Spock removed his hand and said “I assure you, I am not sick.”

“Then why would you say a crazy thing like that?”

“Because it is true.” God, he sounded so sincere. “Why do you disagree? You have chosen a topic of study that most would consider unapproachable and unnecessary all because you care for my well-being. How could anyone deny that you stand apart in your field, not just for your genius but for your compassion? You **are** fascinating Leonard, and I am beyond honoured that you would do this.”

“Spock,” Leonard started shakily but found he couldn’t finish. Throat too tight, he let out a half-sob half-laugh and threw his arms around his friend. Spock caught him, pulling him in close for a tight hug, and Leonard sent a silent thank-you to Jim for loosening their hobgoblin up when it came to personal space. Standing there, wrapped so close after such sweet words, Leonard realised that he didn’t want to move.

“Okay. Okay, I'm pulling myself together now,” Leonard stated for both their benefits. Slowly, he let the hug end, taking his arms and body away from Spock, who gave his waist a squeeze that almost made him dive back in.

“Right.” Leonard took a breath and mentally shook himself. “I’m good.”

Luckily, his communicator beeped before Spock could question the weakness of his tone. He pulled it out and swore when he saw the time.

“What is wrong?” Spock asked as he quickly read over the message.

“I hadn't realised what the time was. I’m meant to be meeting Doctor Boyce to talk hospital rotations. I really have to go, sorry.”

“It is perfectly understandable. Perhaps we could have dinner and discuss your research more? I freely offer my assistance.”

“I’d love to.”

“Wonderful. Then perhaps we could try that new restaurant that Nyota was-”

“But I can’t. Not tonight anyway.”

“Oh. You have plans. Of course.”

“It’s just… it’s date night.”

“Date… night?

“Yeah. Jim and I have been so busy, what with the academy, the hospital, and our friends – not that you or any of our other friends are a problem, of course you aren’t, only… Because we’ve been busy with work, we’ve tried to be more sociable recently, but that’s left us with no time for ourselves. As a couple. So we’ve decided to implement date night, last Friday of every month, to allow time for us. Just us. To say that we love each other.”

“Ah.”

Oh that sound. Leonard didn’t think he’d ever heard a more horrible sound in his life. And it seemed so much worse because a Vulcan made it. It was too sad, too broken. His Spock shouldn’t sound like that.

“We could do dinner tomorrow,” Leonard quickly offered. “Jim has plans with the engineering club so it would be just us. We could talk science all night.” Something wasn’t right with his voice. It was just the wrong shade of brightness, too harsh. Somehow, he didn’t think Spock would comment on it on this occasion.

“I will communicate with you tomorrow then.” Giving a stiff nod, Spock left Leonard standing there, staring after him. He was really going to be late now, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He felt awful, and he wasn’t completely sure why.

 

*********

 

“This was a really good idea.”

“You can say that again.”

Leonard and Jim smiled at each other across the table, raising their wine glasses in a silent toast.

“I love you so much, Bones.”

“I love you too,” Leonard replied fondly but wondered where Jim was going with such an opening statement.

“I feel like I’ve been neglecting you,” Jim answered the unasked question.

“Of course you haven’t!” Leonard didn’t want his husband to ever think such a thing. Unless it was actually true of course, but he would have brought it up first if that was really the case. “We’ve both been busy with our work. And we both decided to spend more time with our friends. I’ve been just as busy with Christine and Geoff as you’ve been with Scotty, Gaila, and Pavel. And we’ve both been spending time with Spock.” They’d spent more time with him than any of their other friends, Leonard realised.

“Still, I feel bad.”

“Why?” Leonard could see that this was really eating at Jim so he asked gently, taking his hands in his. Jim’s soft smile was strained as he explained.

“We’re married now, and yet I feel like we do less together than ever before. I get that it’s a whole new chapter of our lives, and we have so much to do, but if we can’t make time for each other then maybe this was a mistake.”

“What’s a mistake?” Leonards heart was ready to jump right out of his throat and shatter.

“Star Fleet!” Jim cried, and Leonard let himself breath again. Jim frowned at his relaxing shoulders before horror filled his face.

“No! No, Bones, I could never find marrying you a mistake. I love you! I’ve always-”

“And I’ve always too. Forget my minor panic attack; I wasn’t thinking straight. I know you’d never regret marrying me. Just as **I’d** never regret marrying **you**.”

“Good,” Jim grinned, “but I still feel that Star Fleet is taking over our lives. You are **the** most important thing in my life, Bones, and I’ll choose you every time.”

“You don’t need to choose though. Yes, Star Fleet has kept us busy recently, but as long as we make time for moments like this we’ll be fine. Hell, I just need you in our bed every night.”

“I think I can do that.” Jim’s grin was practically a leer.

“Hold your horses, cowboy, I still want dessert. And no smart ass comments. Now tell me what you’ve been working on this week.”

“Sure. Well, actually, Spock and I had this really cool idea for a new…”

As Jim enlightened him on every aspect of the project, Leonard made a mental note every time Spock was mentioned. Jim was clearly just as enamoured by their friend as he was. He hadn't expected the revelation to hit him so gently. But as Jim went on and on about the amazingness that was their hobgoblin, Leonard understood why this wasn’t actually a shock at all. Spock had been slowly, carefully, making his way closer and closer to them, finally coming to rest in their hearts. There was no fanfare about it. It was simply natural. Like the first time they fell in love. Yeah, Leonard realised, they were falling in love again. Not everything had to come with a bang.

Now wasn’t the time to talk about it though, Leonard decided as he watched Jim begin laying out the cutlery to demonstrate a point. It was best that he kept the knowledge of their growing feelings to himself for a while. Jim needed time to feel assured of their relationship and life together before trying to add another person to it. Besides, it was going to be fun watching Jim take his sweet time figuring it all out.


	17. Spock - Academy Year 2

“Spock? Spock? Spock!”

“Yes, Leonard?” Spock answered, trying to cover his startled reaction but Leonard’s concerned frown informed him that he had failed.

“I must have been trying to get your attention for ten minutes. What had you so preoccupied? You’re not usually one for zoning out.”

“Vulcan’s do not ‘zone out’ as you call it.” Leonard snorted at Spock’s automatic answer and turned back to his work. Spock was glad that it was so easy to redirect his friend’s attention. Vulcans did not lie but he had no desire to tell the truth. Leonard did not need to know that he was the cause of Spock’s distraction, and he especially did not need to know how fascinated Spock often became by his dexterous hands.

“You’re doing it again,” Leonard interrupted Spock’s contemplation, never looking up from his work.

“Doing what?” Spock did not believe that any of his current actions required questioning.

“Staring at my hands.”

If Spock had been Leonard, his response would surely have been ‘Dammit!’ However, Spock was not Leonard and was in fact Vulcan so he made no move or facial expression to reveal that he had been caught in his indulgence. Of course, Leonard had become rather well-versed in his non-expressions and thus instantly reassured him.

“It doesn’t bother me.”

“Are you sure?” Spock asked hesitantly, keeping his eyes down.

“Spock, look at me.” He looked, unable to fight the compulsion of that gentle voice. He could not feel shame at being so powerless though when doing as he was told meant having those warm hazel eyes stare right into his own. It did not even matter that it was illogical to describe eyes as ‘warm’ when there was no procedure currently available for him to measure the temperature of Leonard’s eyeballs. Looking into Leonard’s eyes simply flooded him with warmth.

“Of course it doesn’t. Does it bother you that I stare at your ears sometimes? Or your skin when your blood rushes close to the surface?”

“No, it does not. Your gaze has never been invasive and it is natural to be curious about elements of my physiology that do not match your own.”

“See, we all find ourselves attracted to that which stands out.” Leonard had shoved his books aside, completely engaged in their discussion.

“Attracted?” Spock was thankful then for the ability to always keep his voice steady.

“As in catches our attention,” Leonard explained and, when Spock nodded his agreement, once again gave his attention to his work. Spock could not say that he was pleased that Leonard’s eyes had now left him but he was relieved that the subject had been dropped. And if his own eyes roamed over to Leonard’s hands occasionally, at least he did not have to be concerned about Leonard’s reaction.

 

*********

 

“You’re doing it again.”

“Excuse me?” Spock asked shifting his gaze as a tendril of unease swept through his mind.

“You’re staring again. I swear I brushed my teeth this morning but now you’re giving me doubts. Tell me I haven’t got spinach stuck in my teeth, Spock. Tell me.”

“Have you eaten spinach today?” Spock was unsure where this conversation was headed but did not want to seem rude by ignoring Jim’s semi-feigned distress.

“No, I hate the stuff.”

“Then how would it come to be stuck in your teeth?” Spock raised an eyebrow in concern as he checked his friend over. Delusions were not a physical symptom but there might be other signs of illness available for Spock to use to begin a diagnosis.

“It’s just…it’s a thing that…never mind.” Jim gave up on his explanation with a shake of his head and returned his focus to the engine panel in front of him. Spock too stared at his own work, quickly spotting the flaw and reaching for the correct tool.

“So why were you staring at my mouth?”

Very carefully Spock placed the micro-wrench back on the table before facing Jim. The blonde was staring directly into his eyes, the blue as clear and bright as a perfect summer sky. Such a thought was very human, Spock realised, and he was sure his mother would have praised the poetry of it.

“I was uncertain about the reason for your smile. Cadets do not often find such tasks enjoyable.” Half-truths, Spock told himself, were not the same as lies.

“Well, I’m not like most cadets,” Jim smirked. “Besides, what’s not to smile about? I’m acing this task and one of my best friends is right beside me. Seems like a smiling situation to me.” “I concur. It is a pleasant situation.” Jim’s dazzling smile was well-worth the admittance and Spock allowed his own mouth to twitch up as well. After all, there was nothing wrong with smiling.

 

*********

 

Spock focused very hard on making sure he did not lift his head from the revision material before him. It should have been easy to do as neither Leonard nor Jim were currently inclined to make conversation, instead only speaking to double-check a fact. Yet, Spock found he had to actively keep his eyes down. He had grown used to getting caught by those talented hands and beaming smile and no longer even felt guilty for doing so. Except…

Except when he was with only one of his friends, looking at those engaging sights left him warm. When all three were together he felt cold – empty almost – to see those hands wrapped around Jim’s and that smile continuously directed at Leonard. Each act was a harsh reminder that he had no right to covet those hands and that smile. His place was that of observer while they belonged together.

He found himself confusingly aware of the moment Leonard’s hand slipped beneath the table to land on Jim’s thigh and Jim’s smile went from sweet to sly. He wanted to run away from the situation but he also wanted to remind them of his presence, make it clear that they were not alone. It was illogically conflicting. He was always so pleased to be with them, but it hurt to see the intensity of their connection. He knew from experience that they would not just leave him to tend to each other.

“We should finish studying for the night,” he said calmly, tidying his books and papers together to try and spur similar actions in the others.

“You sure?” Leonard asked, and the gentle tone almost gave Spock pause. But no, there was no feasible reason for Leonard to be suspicious of the sudden end to the study session. It was late. That was an acceptable reason.

“It is getting late,” Jim said, “and I could really do with a good night’s sleep.” Leonard was instantly distracted, caring for Jim always taking precedence. Spock was unsure whether to be glad for that fact right now or not. He watched as the blonde was hurried off by his husband, quick but no-less-meaningful goodbyes thrown out as they left Spock’s room.

The Vulcan looked around, trying to find something else to occupy his time now. His gaze caught on the photo of his mother. Perhaps she would be able to explain his confusion of feelings. He moved over to his computer and placed the call, smoothing down his clothes as he waited for it to connect. The sight of his mother wrapped in her favourite shawl made him suddenly long to be by her side.

“Oh my darling, whatever has happened?” Amanda asked, immediately noticing his distress and ready to fix the problem no matter what it may be. A part of Spock wished he could throw himself into her arms like he had done as a child.

“I am conflicted, Mother,” and this time Spock could not keep his voice steady.

“And what has you conflicted, sweetheart? Those lovely boys you talk so often of, perhaps?” Spock has always known his mother to be uncommonly perceptive but this was just illogical. Had he truly failed so spectacularly at hiding his emotions? And if so, did that mean that Leonard and Jim also knew? Spock had long suspected that Leonard shared some of Amanda’s gift for understanding Vulcans.

“Relax, Spock. I am your mother; it is my duty to know when you are feeling particularly strong emotions. And you spend so much time with them it is logical to conclude that they are the cause for anything you are feeling.” Amanda smiled at him and, as always, Spock felt some of his tension draining away.

“Now, tell me everything.”

“They are married.”

“You have stated as such before,” Amanda reminded him. “You described them as illogically compatible.”

“I did. They belong together.”

“And this upsets you, my Son.”

“I have recently found myself…feeling.”

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Amanda said with a smile. Spock, had he been human, definitely would have scowled at her. She knew exactly what he meant. She always did but made him iterate his feelings anyway.

“I find myself…wanting…to be near them, to touch them. To have them smile at me as they do each other. I feel warm when in their company and yet, knowing the depth of their connection leaves me cold. I am conflicted and I do not understand why. I do not feel this way about my other friends who are in relationships.” Spock could not look up from his desk after he had finished his account. He was not sure what look would be in his mother’s eyes but he felt uneasy about finding out.

“It sounds like you are in love, my darling.”

His head shot up, eyes wide in disbelief as he stared as his mother. She was looking back at him with the softest of expressions, full of love and understanding. No condemnation to be found.

“But they are married,” Spock was quick to repeat. “They are in love with each other.”

“Yes, but that has no effect on your own feelings. I fell in love with your father despite him being betrothed to another,” Amanda said with a smile. “We cannot truly control our feelings, my Son; we can simply choose how to act on them.”

“There is no action for my feelings. To do so would be to hurt Leonard and Jim. They **belong** together. I would never jeopardize their relationship,” Spock spoke vehemently. His course of action was decided – he would enjoy the company of his closest friends but he would be careful to never give a single hint towards his true feelings. Leonard and Jim’s marriage was to be protected at all costs, even from him.

“It is your decision, Spock. But remember, it is not just your feelings on the matter that need to be considered.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Amanda Rocks. Just saying.


	18. Jim - Academy Year 2

Jim knew that he wasn’t the most observant person in the world but he probably should have seen this coming sooner. He was sitting in the library with Spock, studying for the last command exams of the year, when he realised that his attention was wavering between his revision and Spock. He normally wouldn’t have thought anything of it – he tended to chat with his revision buddies, until they told him to shut up – but something was different this time. Instead of looking up to make a point (or joke), he was simply looking for the sake of looking. His eyes kept getting caught in the gleam of black hair; on the green tint of pointed ears; on the sharp lines of the jaw. He didn’t even notice until the fifth time he had to drag his eyes back to his notes, and then he had to be careful not to give himself away.

How could this be happening to him? Yeah, Jim understood that his Vulcan friend was attractive, in the same way that he recognised that all his friends were. It was just a fact. But it had never been one that stood out before. So why now could he not get the thought out of his head? His eyes once again flicked up to observe that jawline, and Jim found his gaze travelling along to Spock’s li-

No.

That wasn’t happening. He didn’t care how attractive he suddenly found Spock. He didn’t care that butterflies were swarming in his stomach. He didn’t care that he was now realising that this wasn’t the first time.

“Jim? Where are you going?”

“I have to leave.”

“Very well.” Spock sounded puzzled and God that did not help the situation. “Will we be continuing tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. Bye.”

Walking away, part of him was screaming at him for being a dick and it sounded an awful lot like Bones.

Bones. He needed Bones. He needed him right **now**.

He changed direction, knocking into several people as he hurried towards the hospital. They grumbled after him but he paid the words no attention. All that mattered was getting to Bones. Getting to Bones and…

And what?

Jim stopped, causing more people to moan at him but he ignored them too. What was he going to say to Bones? Was he really going to tell his husband, in the middle of his work place, that he thought he was developing feelings for someone else? For someone they both considered a best friend?

No. Plan A it was.

Still tuning out the disgruntled cadets, he began running towards their apartment; Jim and Bones’. He ran the whole way, not letting himself think about anything but getting to that safe space. He slammed the door behind him and then stood in the main room and just breathed. Deep breaths in and deep breaths out. Good.

Now what? Curl up in a ball on the bed in despair?

Glancing at the bedroom door, Jim grimaced. No, he couldn’t go in there right now. It didn’t feel right to enter that space while thoughts of Spock were in his head. That was his and Bones’ room. He chose to collapse face first on the couch instead, letting a scream be swallowed by the fabric. This was not supposed to be happening to him. He loved Bones, loved him more than anything in the universe. So why had being with Spock today left him so shook up?

“Enough,” he told himself. James Tiberius Kirk was a doer. He didn’t wallow over things. He found the problem and he fixed it. “So,” he muttered, “what’s the problem here?”

Spock. Or more accurately, his sudden feelings for Spock. Now, it didn’t seem like these feelings were affecting the ones he had for Bones. A quick glance at his ring confirmed this as his heart flooded with the warm memory of Bones sliding the ring onto his finger. So, he still loved Bones, he just happened to be having feelings for someone else as well. There was a simple solution then: he just had to ignore his feelings for Spock. If he was lucky, they might even fade away. They couldn’t be as strong as his ones for Bones. There was no reason to panic over nothing.

His inner Bones was so raising his eyebrows at him right now.

 

*********

 

“What’s all this?”

Jim finished lighting the last candle and surveyed the table. Perfect.

“I just wanted to do something a bit special tonight,” he said, turning to Bones. “Surprise you a bit.”

“Well, I’m definitely surprised,” Bones said, stepping into Jim’s open arms. “Why tonight though?”

“Just missed you today,” Jim replied with a grin. He tried to pull Bones closer but the brunette stopped him with a hand on his chest. Jim frowned at him but before he could ask what was wrong, Bones spoke.

“You’re upset about something.”

“No, I’m-” Jim cut himself off at the look he received.

“Don’t try and lie to me, kid. I know you better than anyone, including yourself,” Bones said, poking him in the chest for emphasis. “Now tell me the real reason for the fancy dinner set-up.”

“I love you.”

“I’ve never doubted that, and you’re stalling.”

“Bones, I…” Jim didn’t know how to continue. All the words were suddenly stuck in his throat, choking him while his heart twisted up thinking about how he could possibly be about to lose everything. Bones took another step back to look him up and down. When their eyes met Jim tried to convey his thoughts and feelings but he knew that there was no way for Bones to figure out his confliction without words.

“Oh. You’ve finally figured out that you’re in love with Spock, haven’t you? Well it’s about damn time.”

What?

Jim hoped that his eyes were screaming that question loud and clear because there was no way he could speak right now. Bones just sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes. Now that was uncalled for.

“I’m s-sorry,” Jim stuttered. “W-why are you not freaking out? I’ve spent all day worrying that I was going to lose you and **you roll your eyes**?”

“Jim.” Bones’ voice was all soft and gentle, the tone that made Jim feel five years old again. “I’ve been waiting for you to figure this out for six months.”

Again, what?

“Six months?” Jim knew that he should probably close his mouth but he really didn’t have the strength to. “I only figured out that I have feelings for him today! What do you mean I’ve had them for six months?”

“Honestly, we’ve probably had these feelings for longer than that; I just noticed six months ago.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? And what do mean ‘we’?”

“I mean ‘we’ as in ‘we are in love with Spock’. You’re not the only one who spends an extraordinary amount of time with him.”

Jim felt himself sinking towards the floor. Luckily Bones was there to guide him over to the couch.

“Jim? I need you to tell me how you’re feeling right now.”

“Honestly…mind blown.” Bones laughed and Jim felt everything inside loosening. Thinking over everything, he felt a bit stupid. Of course he’d never lose Bones – they were soulmates after all. And of course he wouldn’t be alone in his feelings for Spock; Bones was the one to really get them altogether.

“Bones?”

“Yeah, darlin’?”

“Do you think Spock loves us too?”


End file.
